“It’s not okay, and it won’t happen again. It shouldn’t have happened at all. And it will not happen again.” I say it more to myself than her. She doesn’t control my body, or my fucked up mind, so it’s not her fault I lost my cool.
“But I want it to happen again.”
I shake my head, the frustration in me mounting. “You don’t mean that, Keira.” I run my knuckles along her cheek, feeling how fragile her skin and bones are beneath my touch. I’ve killed people. I’ve bathed in their blood, but when I’m with Keira, I want to forget that part of myself. I want to cherish and hold her.
I stare down at her. “You don’t have to pretend with me. I’ll protect you no matter what, no matter how. You don’t have to pretend you like being hurt because you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared,” she admits with a shy grin. “I just…I want you to be satisfied, and I want to be the one satisfying you. I don’t want you to feel like you have to go somewhere else for your needs—even more so now that I know we’re getting married. I want to be able to take whatever you give me…whenever you want.”
“Is this about what Hayley said? Did she tell you I didn’t want you? That’d I’d leave you?” Anger doesn’t even begin to describe how I am feeling.
“Listen to me, Keira.” I grip her chin firmly now. “Don’t fucking believe a single word she says. She’s no one. A fucking whore. And not that it matters, but this has nothing to do with being satisfied. I was satisfied making love to you. I was satisfied fucking you…being inside you. Hell, I was satisfied just with the simple fact that you let me touch you.”
Her eyes fill with tears. “But there’s a difference between all those things and tonight. The difference has everything to do with me and the fact that I let my anger get out of control. I let it cloud my thoughts and my judgement. And I took that anger out on the one person who didn’t deserve it.”
I feel my own eyes begin to water, but I blink the emotions away. “I hurt you, and I’ll never let myself get that out of control again. I’ll find another way to manage, but it won’t mean fucking you when I’m that far gone.”
She gives me the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen, and I lean down and press my lips against hers tenderly. My heart starts beating out of my chest, and the pain of what I did pumps through my veins. I knew when she first told me she loved me I loved her too. I was just too weak…to consumed with fear to say it.
But after tonight, I won’t hold back anymore. I let the words fall helplessly from my lips. “I love you, Keira. And I cannot wait for you to become my wife.”
Chapter 19
Keira
His words replay on repeat. I love you, Keira…
Shock isn’t even a word I could use to describe or explain how I feel. I’d been saying I love you to him for a while, but I didn’t think he would actually say the words to me—and never out loud.
It’s like he’s changed. Something inside him has cracked, and he’s finally slipping his mask off and letting me in. He’s been acting like he cares for me—but is it love?
I didn’t think it was possible for a man like Damon to admit he was is in love. Yet, here we are, in the bathroom of this giant house where he grew up with his brother, his tiny little secret right down the hall. If Damon was ever going to tell me he loved me, I didn’t suspect it would happen here.
“Come on. Your hands are turning to prunes. Let’s get you dried off and into bed.”
As I stand, I notice my legs are still weak, causing my knees to threaten to buckle beneath my weight. I was seriously exhausted before stepping into this hot bath, and now my muscles are relaxed, making me even hungrier for sleep.
When I step out of the tub and into the large, fluffy towel Damon is holding out, the soreness between my legs flares, reminding me of the rough way he took me earlier. I was shocked at first—and he did hurt me in the beginning—but once my body adjusted, I enjoyed the way he took me.
He was hot and possessive, and he made my body shake with need. The orgasm was mind blowing. I’m so confused by the way he made me feel, I don’t think I can explain it to Damon in a way he’ll understand—at least not tonight. But I do hope he does it again, because there was something so primal about the way he wanted me, needed me. Like he had to have me. Thinking about it makes my muscles clench and my body hum.