I want to talk to her, not just hear her voice from afar, and I definitely want to kiss her again, but I need to give her a chance to come to me first.
This needs to be her choice. I can’t and won’t push her into this. From the way the week has gone, it’s starting to look like she isn’t as interested in me as I thought she was. Which sucks. Really fucking bad.
I feel the dirty looks people are giving me as I walk across campus. It makes my skin crawl. Grown ass men switch to the other side of the street when they see me coming. Most people are just scared, and I can deal with that. What’s harder is when I see the disgust written clearly on their faces.
I can’t help but wonder what kind of looks people would give me if Elyse were walking beside me.
Would they judge her too?
I catch a glimpse of a familiar pair of eyes. I’ve only seen them briefly, and it takes me a moment to place them. It’s Elyse’s friend, I realize. The one from the party.
She obviously knows who I am, judging by the death stare I’m receiving right now. She glares at me like a lioness about to pounce, and for a minute, I really do think she will attack. She looks nothing like Elyse. There’s no kindness in her features. In fact, she looks as if she’s better than everyone else.
She flips her blonde hair over her shoulder as she pretends to be listening to something the guy next to her is saying, but I’m not stupid. Her eyes stay trained on me until I make it all the way up the library steps, the heat of her gaze telling me she doesn’t approve of my kind.
I ignore everyone and everything as I shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans and walk in the direction of the study session rooms.
Fuck. I don’t want to be here right now. I shouldn’t be here right now.
When I get into the room, Elyse is already sitting at the table, her book open, her notes set out before her.
She looks up at me, her eyes full of dread. She shifts nervously in her chair when I take the seat next to hers. The tension is so thick, you can cut it with a knife. Questions rest against the tip of my tongue.
Why didn’t she text me? Call me? Come over again? I clench my jaw to keep my mouth shut. She doesn’t deserve my shitty attitude, even if she is the cause of it. Maybe she made her choice already. Maybe she decided she didn’t want to hear from me anymore or want anything to do with me.
“I got some information about the areas you’re struggling in,” Elyse nearly whispers, her eyes back on the book in front of her.
My face deadpans, like there isn’t anything else better we could be doing or saying. “Is that so?” I say through gritted teeth.
She seems taken aback by the anger in my voice.
What the hell was she expecting?
“Why are you mad at me? You’re the one who made a bunch of empty promises, then just forgot about me.” Her kissable lips are pulled taunt, and the crease in her forehead tells me she is frustrated.
“Forgot about you?” I sneer, unclenching my fists, only to clench them again.
How can she think I forgot about her when my every thought is about her? I wake up, I see her face. I close my eyes, I see her face. I’m fucking obsessed with her, with the need to protect her, be with her, inside her, beside her—it doesn’t really fucking matter so long as she’s there.
I’m scared shitless, and nothing scares me…except the small, five-foot-two girl in front of me and the power she has over me.
“I waited for you to come to me. To call me? I don’t have your number,” she whispers. “I don’t know how any of this works, okay? I told you this is all new for me.”
Her bottom lip trembles, and I feel like an even bigger asshole than I know I am.
She told me about her past. Maybe I shouldn’t have assumed she knew I was giving her a choice in all this.
“You just left me.”
Her words break my black heart in two. “I didn’t leave you. I was with you all week.” I grin at her. “You just didn’t see me.”
For the first time since I got here, a small smile tugs on her lips.
I can’t take my eyes off her face. “I need you to tell me this is what you want. That I am what you want. I thought I could wait. I thought I could let you choose, but it’s obvious that isn’t going to happen given the circumstances right now.” I shift in my seat and gaze deeply into her eyes, making sure she gets every single word I’m telling her. “I need you to understand that once you tell me, there is no going back. If you want this. Us. I will never let you go again. You’ll be mine forever.”