4
Lily
I thought coming to North Woods was the right thing, coming back to where I grew up, where I was born, but I’m starting to second guess that. Not when I can’t stop thinking about him. I know it’s wrong, especially after the way he acted, and the things he said to me.
I should hate him. I should never want to see him again, and forget he even exists but, stupidly, I don’t. All of this is wrong. Sebastian and me. The feelings I have.
As a student, I shouldn’t be wondering what he is doing, hoping that I might run into him every time I walk across campus. It’s sick and twisted, and I can’t put it into words. The hate but need that I feel. He’s the last piece I have of my sister and, as wrong as it is, I don’t want to let him go. I can’t.
Two weeks have passed since I last saw him. Classes have started and are in full swing now. College is definitely harder than I expected. For some reason, I thought studying art would be more fun and include less math and English classes. Welp, I thought wrong. I’ve already flunked a surprise math test that I had on Monday.
Which is shit for me being that I’m here on a scholarship and can’t afford to let my grades drop below a certain GPA. Of course, not having the textbook for said class doesn’t help. The scholarship only covers housing and tuition, not textbooks or anything else you might need to live. So, when I saw the price tag on the books, I had to make a choice between food for the next two weeks or printed paper. In case you were wondering, I chose food.
I try to throw myself into homework, hanging out with Delilah, and finding a job but every spare moment or thought leads me back to him. I’m so caught in my own head as I head to class that I almost run over Professor Berg, my beloved math teacher in the hallway. Luckily, I stop a few feet short of colliding with him.
“Ahhh, Miss Kline, I’m actually glad to have run into you. I was going to talk to you Monday before class but since I’ve got you now, would you mind stopping by the Dean’s office to talk to your academic advisor.”
“Uh, sure,” I say, but it almost comes out as a question. Why the hell is he sending me to talk to my advisor? Have I done something wrong? Broke some sacred rule? I should probably ask him. My mouth pops open, a question on my lips when he starts to walk away.
“Great, see you Monday then.”
What the hell?
Taking out my generic phone, I check the time. It’s late, and they’ll be closing soon, but if I hurry, I might make it. Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I speed walk down the hall and toward the administration building which thankfully isn’t that far from where I am right now. Students rush past me, all of us clearly in a hurry.
By the time I reach the building, I’m a tiny bit out of breath, but I still don’t slow down. Pushing open the large door, I step inside, my sneakers squeaking against the linoleum. Pausing briefly, I stare at the front desk. No one. There’s just a sign that says be back tomorrow.
Well then… Deciding that tomorrow is just too late to wait, I walk down the long hall toward the offices. When I find my advisor’s office, I lift a hand and knock on her door.
“She’s already gone,” Sebastian’s voice rings in my ears, and I swear my whole body reacts to the deep gravelly sound.
Goosebumps spread out across my arms, and my heart starts beating just a little faster.
I ready myself, before I turn around, puffing my chest out to show him that I’m not scared or affected by him.
I turn expecting to find him scowling at me, maybe even preparing to yell at me to get out, but instead, he just stares at me, his eyes softer than I’ve ever seen them. I’m so shocked by the way he is looking at me that I forget to respond.
“Is there something I can help you with?” He breaks the silence, and a shiver runs down my spine.
“I… I don’t know,” I admit. “Professor Berg sent me here, he didn’t say why.”
He doesn’t look angry or irritated, and I’m not sure what to make of him at this point.
“Come here. I can check your file on the school database.” He motions toward his office, and I follow him like a lost puppy.
He sits down behind his desk and starts typing something into the computer, while I sit nervously in front of him, wringing my hands in my lap. I try my best not to stare at him because every time our eyes meet this stupid warmth fills my abdomen.