“I’m not sorry for what just happened between us. I’m just… I’m confused right now. I forgot the condom, and it was your first time and…”
I can’t do this.
Swallowing down a sob, I shake my head, and hold up a hand telling him I’m done listening. “It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry it happened. It was a mistake. All of this has been a mistake. Me staying here. This. Us.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I will it all away.
“Lily,” he calls my name, his voice is soft, and floats through me like wisps of smoke, and the overwhelming need to cave for him is consuming, but giving in will only lead to more pain, and I’ve hurt myself enough tonight.
“No, just, please go… actually no, I’ll go, this is your place after all.”
“No.” Sebastian’s authoritative voice cuts through the air, and my eyes open at the sound. That beautiful face of his is twisted with agony, he’s staring at me like I’m a puzzle he can fix, or figure out, but he can’t. “Stay. I’ll leave. I’ll go stay with Remington but let me tell you this now. We are not over, Lily Kline. What happened tonight, was meant to happen, it was inevitable, and you know it. There was no escaping us coming together. I just…”
“Please go,” I whimper, feeling the tears sting my eyes. I will not cry in front of him. I won’t. He stands there for another long second, maybe thinking I’ll change my mind, but I won’t. When he realizes that, he gathers up some clothes and a few other things, before going to the door. He stops there, hovering, waiting for me to tell him to stay, but I won’t. I can’t. Sebastian Miller was never meant to be mine. He was always hers, and he always would be.
11
Sebastian
“Are we going to talk about why you showed up here last night at eleven or…” Remington’s voice trails off. There’s a pounding behind my eyes that seems to get worse with each word that comes out of his mouth.
I don’t want to talk about last night. About how amazing it was. About how I fucked it all up by opening my stupid mouth.
“What happened, Seb?” Jules asks next as she sits down at the table, a cup in her hands.
“Not you too.” I sigh and thread my fingers through my hair in frustration.
“If you would just spill the beans, we wouldn’t have to gang up on you.”
I let my hand fall to the table. “Can’t I just come over without there needing to be a reason?”
Remington rolls his eyes, “You can come over whenever you want. It’s just you don’t, and then randomly you show up late at night, out of the blue, annoyed and cranky. That’s not normal, and since I’m not a complete asshole, and I care about you, I want to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine. I’ve told you that ten times now, and yet you keep pushing.” My gaze collides with Remington’s. He looks like he doesn’t believe me, probably because I’m lying, but that’s none of his business. None of this is.
Jules interjects probably sensing a fight brewing. “Because deep down, you aren’t. What’s going on, Seb? Is it Lily?” Every muscle in my body tightens at her name. My thoughts swirl with images of us from last night. Her beautiful flushed face, the way she came to life at my touch. It was amazing, it was forbidden.
Rem notices the knee jerk change in my temperament and grins, “Yup, definitely Lily. What happened?” He leans in, perching his chin on his hand, staring intently at my face.
“Seriously? It’s not some soap opera episode. I’m not hiding anything exciting. Lily and I had a fight. She was going to leave, and I told her I would leave instead. Then I left. End of story.”
“If it’s not that exciting, then why don’t you tell us what the fight was about?”
Swallowing thickly, I reply, “It’s nothing.”
“Doesn’t sound like nothing.” Rem’s grin widens, and I know he’s just goading me, trying to make me mad but I’m already pissed off at myself. I don’t need to be lectured further by my brother, who isn’t exactly the best at making choices.
Still, I feel the overbearing need to speak about what happened. I have no worries about them telling anyone, so why haven’t I said anything? Cause I’m a coward.
Sucking in a sharp breath, I say, “We had sex. Then I made the mistake of saying something without really thinking.”
“Was it I love you?”
“No,” I growl, “It wasn’t. It was something else. Something that I feel she took out of context.” Jules reaches across the table and places her hand against mine. Her touch is comforting, it always has been. Since the beginning, Jules has been like a little sister to me.