But I can’t. The only thing I can do now is make sure she is safe and happy going forward. I’ll protect her from my father and anyone else who ever tries to hurt her. I’ll protect her from me if I have to.
There’s a hole in my chest at the absence of her presence. I’m struggling to fill my lungs with air, unable to get a full breath in. Will I ever be able to breathe again? Why am I feeling this way? It feels like I’ve lost a piece of my soul. I knew after we had sex the first time that I was ruined for any and all women, Ava had claimed a piece of me that no other woman had before.
Please, let her be okay.
I don’t even care if she never talks to me again, if she tells me she hates my guts, all I want is for her to be back here in this house. For so long, I wanted her gone, and now, now I can’t picture a life without her, now I have to have her here with me. My heart starts to beat profoundly against my ribs.
Then it hits me, all the feelings I felt for her, the hate mixed with need, with something I thought was lust. It never was… it was never lust that I was feeling. It was something else, something entirely different. It was…
The sound of a car pulling up drags me from my thoughts. Standing, I run to the huge window overlooking the driveway, my already accelerated heart rate skyrocketing when I see Laura’s car. Please be inside. Please. I’ve never hoped for anything more in my life. If she’s not in that car, then any chance of making things right is gone. Laura exits the driver’s side, and I hold my breath when Ava’s form appears, exiting the passenger side. My knees buckle under the relief that rips through me. I feel like a fifty-pound weight has been lifted off my chest.
She is here. She is safe.
I’ll fix this. I can’t take back all the words I said, all the things I did, but I can make it up to her. I just have to find a way to get her to talk to me.
“Are they here?” My father’s voice meets my ear and anger bubbles up inside me.
I want to smash his face with a brick, curse him from the heavens but I need to focus on Ava right now. I can always deal with my father.
“Yes,” I grit out. I’d rather him not talk to Ava at all, but he needs to apologize. I don’t want her to worry about anything. “Remember what I told you, play along or I’ll tell Mom everything and if Mom finds out you cheated and lied in court—”
“I know,” my father cuts me off. “I know.”
The front door opens, and Ava and Laura appear before me. Laura’s eyes dart between my father and I before catching on the drops of blood glittering the floor.
“Oh my God, Vance, are you okay?” she asks, taking a step toward me and I wave her off before she can start her mother hen shit. I don’t need anything from her or my father. In my book, they’re both lying cheaters.
“I’m fine.” I lift my hand, bringing it to my chest, before allowing myself to look her in the eyes. My insides knot painfully and when I do get the courage to look at her it feels like someone’s hit me in the gut.
Her green eyes are filled with so much sadness it pours out of her and onto the floor. It suffocates me, wrapping around me, grabbing onto my heart with a vise-like grip. It squeezes and squeezes and I feel myself getting light headed.
You did this. Her face pales, and she blinks rapidly almost as if she’s fighting off tears.
“I… I have homework to do. I’m going to go,” she announces and starts toward the stairs, hurrying up them two at a time. I clutch at my chest, feeling like the organ inside of it got ripped out. I deserve for it to. I did this. Broke her. Made her run away.
“We need to talk,” Laura says to my father who turns and heads toward his office.
Dismissing her just like he does me. The only difference is she follows behind him like a lost puppy where I’d go drown myself in a bottle of whiskey.
“Nothing to talk about, honey. It’s all in the past. Everything is fine now.” His tone is tight, and as they drift farther away, I make my move, heading up the stairs and to her bedroom.
I’m sure she doesn’t want to see me. Hell, I don’t even want to see me, but I have to apologize. I have to tell her how sorry I am. When I reach her door, I stare at it, trying to calm my erratic heartbeat. I’m antsy, and my hands shake as I grab the doorknob. It easily twists and with a light push, pops open.