Her big gray eyes dart from them and up to my face.
“I’ll be right back. I’m going to get dressed, you go help her, and then we can talk.” Cam announces as he walks out of the room, a towel slung around his waist.
I nod but don’t look away from Stella.
“I’m sorry, I let you down. I’m sorry, I left. I was just… I’m tired of living in the past, Easton. I know I shouldn’t want you guys, but I do. I want both of you. I’m falling…” She shakes her head, and strands of wet hair stick to her face. “I’m pretty sure I’m past falling. I love you both, and I don’t know how to go forward. I don’t know what will happen next.”
The pain in her voice, the fear in her eyes, it makes me weak in the knees.
“What happens next is whatever you want.”
“Whatever I want?” Her brows furrow in confusion. She doesn’t understand, and I get why. She’s not used to us letting her have a say, an opinion, or choice. But that changes now.
Cam walks back into the bedroom, fully dressed this time. His eyes dart between us, a question lingering there.
“What do you want, Stella?” Cam asks gently, and I’ve never been more glad to have him in my life than I am now. We might not be brothers by blood, but we’re in every sense of the word. Stella looks between us, her expression completely unreadable.
My heart thuds loudly in my chest. What do I do if she says she wants us to let her go? Looking at her, I don’t know how she could love us after all we’ve done.
“I want to be happy and free. I want you to trust me, to let me leave and go where I want, knowing that I’ll always come back to you.”
“So, you want to stay?” Cam asks, his voice tight.
Stella nibbles on her bottom lip with indecision, “I do, but only if I can be your equal. It will hurt to leave, but it hurts me more to know that all you see in me is a threat or someone that is less than you. Your secrets are my own now. I would never tell, and I didn’t, even when Katie and Paul tried to get me to talk.”
Guilt, sadness, and anger gnaw at my insides like a ravenous monster. I should’ve believed her when she said she wouldn’t tell the first million and one times, but I was so caught up in the need to ensure she stayed quiet, I didn’t care if I hurt her. I only cared about protecting Cam and me. This is going to change now, there will be one more person in our circle to protect.
Reaching out for her, needing to feel her body beneath my hands, I grab onto her shoulders and pull her into my body. The top of her head reaches the middle of my chest, and I look down at her, wishing I could save her from all the darkness in the world, save her from me.
“I can’t go back and change things, and I wouldn’t even if I could. What happened lead us to you, and I’ll never be able to regret that. I’m not a good person though, and I’m not even sure I could be kind but… I will never make you feel as if you’re unequal to us. I will never test your loyalty again. I’m sorry it took me until now to admit that, but I can’t let you go. I can’t.”
“Then don’t,” she whispers, and I don’t stop myself from kissing her then. I let my fingers weave through her damp hair and clamp onto the back of her neck as I kiss her deeper, letting the hunger deep in my veins fill her.
Cam causes the kiss to break sooner than I want, and I let a small growl escape, which he chuckles not so quietly about.
“We’re sharing her, asshole,” he grins and pulls her into his own arms, forcing me to release her. If I didn’t care about him so much, I would punch him in the face and run away with Stella, but there is no me without Cam. We’re a brotherhood of our own, and I could never break that kind of bond, not even if I tried.
“Will you both lay down with me?” Stella whispers, a smile tugging at her lips.
“Anything,” I answer wholeheartedly. After everything that has happened, I know I’ll need to prove myself to her, and I will every day from here on out.
“We’ll make this right, Stella. You’re more than our equal, you’re better than us, you’re the queen in our fucked up world.” Cam says as he starts to strip out of his clothing. I follow quickly behind, knowing he’s never said anything more true before.