3
No matter what I do. I can’t shake the strange feeling that I’m being watched, it’s been like this for years. Going to the grocery store, on the drive to work, even in my apartment. It always feels like there are eyes on me, but every time I look up, there’s nothing there. No one is watching, at least not that I can see. I do my best to brush off the feelings, but it’s a lot harder than you’d think.
I’m pretty sure no one is actually watching me. I mean, why would someone do that? I’m no one. It makes more sense that I’ve imagined all of this, especially after the incident with the creeper the other night.
This is my body’s way of staying guarded after having a shitty childhood. At least that’s what the therapist tells me. I keep thinking about stopping seeing her because I’m tired of being reminded of the past. I don’t care to remember my time in foster care, and I honestly don’t understand why I keep finding myself going to the appointments.
Stopping by my favorite coffee place on the corner, I order an iced coffee hoping the caffeine will make me feel better. By the time I get to the shelter, I’ve downed the large cup and feel no better. Except now, my bladder is screaming at me. I rush inside, heading straight for the bathroom.
Stupid coffee.
“Good morning,” Sasha greets me as I rush past her.
“Morning,” I call as I slip into the bathroom. Sighing, I empty my bladder and vow never to drink that much coffee that fast again. When I’m done, I wash my hands and walk back out into the receptionist area.
“Too much coffee?” Sasha giggles.
“You know it,” I admit. “I don’t know when I will ever learn.” I shake my head.
“We got two new surrenders this morning. One of them is a puppy,” Sasha tells me. “They only had the dog for three weeks, then realized they would have to actually spend time training the dog not to pee and poop in the house.”
“Ugh, why do people get dogs if they can’t take care of them? At least the puppy will be easy to adopt out.”
Making my first round through the shelter, I make sure all the animals have water and that their cages are clean. There isn’t much I can do for all these poor creatures, but at least I can make sure they’re taken care of while they’re here. Make sure they’re fed, warm, and get some human interaction.
Stopping at the last cage that holds the new puppy, I smile. It’s some kind of shepherd mix, but its breed doesn’t matter, not when it’s as cute as it is.
“Yeah, you definitely won’t last long, not with that face.” The pup is looking at me with big, brown eyes and a wagging tail. It isn’t unusual for me to talk to the animals. I don’t feel bad or weird about it. Not when the truth is, I’d rather talk to them than to another human.
“Did you see him?” Sasha coo’s when I head back to my desk.
Withholding an eye roll, I nod. “Yes, I saw him, and no, you cannot take him home with you. Henry would shit bricks if you brought another dog home.”
Her lip curls into a frown. “Maybe I should get rid of him then? The dogs never let me down.” This is an ongoing thing with Sasha, she loves Henry, and he loves her, but they’re always fighting about something.
“Tell me, are you on or off again?”
“Neither.”
“Right…” I shake my head.
“What about you? You find anyone to share that huge apartment with yet?” I shoot her a look that says, really?
“I don’t date, Sasha. You know this.”
“Sorry, I thought maybe you met someone the other night, and that’s why you left so early. I didn’t even get to ask you what happened?”
Goosebumps pebble my flesh at the reminder. “Yeah, about that, I, uhh… I left because there was this guy that wouldn’t leave me alone. He followed me when I left, and then right before I was going to call 9-1-1, he disappeared.”
Sasha stares at me wide-eyed. “Holy shit, are you okay? Why didn’t you call me and tell me what happened?”
Truthfully, calling Sasha wasn’t even something I’d think to do. All my life, I’ve been alone. I didn’t know how to rely on someone else because it had only ever been me.
“I don’t know. I just… I was thankful that I had gotten away. I’m really lucky… it could’ve been much worse.”
The thought of being raped and beaten, and then left in a gutter somewhere makes my stomach churn. You hear about it all the time in this city, but no one ever thinks it will happen to them, not until it does.
“Not to sound like a total bitch because I do care about you and would never want anything to happen to you, but you’re the luckiest person I know. I mean, the guy just disappears? That never happens, and now that I’m thinking about it, you seem to be lucky all the time.”