Good Pet

With all the light and energy in his face and body, I just can’t stand how he covers it up. How he buries it and tries to distract from his handsomeness, his regal bearing, with such cheap and thoughtless clothing. To me, these pieces of clothing have always screamed of unworthiness and laziness. Even more so in our surroundings. In the dim light of the restaurant, his clothing is even more self-deprecating.

That man has really got to start loving himself. He’s really got to start understanding what some good clothes, some finely crafted wardrobe pieces, can do for one’s confidence. One’s sense of worth and bravery. And it looks like I’m going to have to be the one to show him how to love himself and dress like he’s worthy of not only love and a good-paying job, but of seeing his own beauty and embracing it fully. He treats himself like an afterthought when he should treat himself like a work of art.

I grab myself a small tart from the series of silver trays and platters left for us by our waiter. I ordered a kind of dessert buffet, and it doesn’t surprise me how much selection and choice we’ve been given. The tart I’ve gotten is a raspberry one. I pick up a strawberry one for Tommy, but he’s more interested in the custards or in the puddings and other bits of cake.

As I start to eat my dessert and the sweet fruity flavors explode on my tongue, I remember something he said about his dad. How his dad picked his suit out for him, that his dad mocked him in it. He told Tommy that maybe that would work to hide his fat. At that moment, I feel tears threatening to overwhelm my eyes. I also come up with my plan. I’m going to take this boy who feels worthless, and like an afterthought, and turn him into a piece of art and his own greatest lover.

I’m going to take him shopping. I’m going to introduce him to the world of fashion and how the world of elegance and style are all about showing yourself off, no matter what your size or features you have and not hiding them.

Dennis did that for me when we first got together. Before I met him, I was much like Tommy is now: insecure and unsure of my place in life. I was unsure of my worthiness to even have a place, let alone any thought that I should be beautiful, grab attention, or keep it all for myself. But I learned. I learned it was okay to be noticed, and it was okay to want and grab attention.

I don’t think that I would have the career, friends, or life that I have now without it. And I can only imagine what that kind of confidence is going to do for Tommy. For the life of his that is just about to take off. It’s all just about to take shape, even though he’s tried to walk around as a faceless, nameless mass. Even though he’s done that, he doesn’t want to be. He wants to be more. He wants to be unique, special, and cherished, and I’m going to help do that for him. I’m going to help give him the ability to shape his future and his present the same way Dennis did for me, except I’m going to be there for him even after I’ve shown him how to look after his appearance and his self-esteem.

I take another bite of my tart, sipping at a dessert wine I have ordered. This one’s a lot sweeter than I’m used to, but it is a good complement for the desert and deserts of all kinds. Fruit or chocolate, or more butter-centered, it all works with this. As I chew thoughtfully on that bite, I say, “That suit. Those clothes, Tommy. They don’t do you justice.”

Seeming to have only heard the word about his clothes, Tommy blushes. He straightens up defensively and looks at me like I might do him some greater injury. “What about my clothes, Melissa?”

“They don’t do you justice, Tommy,” I repeat gently and earnestly. “I told you the day I met you when you were getting ready for your interview, that you could and should do much better than that. That you’re too handsome — now too successful — to be dressing in a suit like that.”

Tommy blushes again. He fidgets nervously. I can see he’s getting upset, but that’s exactly what I want to avoid.

“It’s okay if that’s all you have for now,” I say, realizing that’s probably more the case than any lack of interest or motivation in taking better care of himself. “If that’s all you have, fine. But then let me offer this: why don’t we go out next weekend, just the two of us, and I’ll help you pick out a whole new wardrobe, hmm?”