There is a great deal of pressure involved, as well as the need to trust the other person. I saw what happened in my parents’ marriage, and that misplaced trust destroyed it. I definitely don’t want that to happen to me, so I stay far away from committed relationships since I don’t want to be married.
As I finish preparing a few orders for delivery, I continue thinking about marriage. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be totally reliant on a man, especially financially. I want to own my own business, and there are so many other goals that I want to achieve for myself.
I was always raised to be independent. I know I couldn’t be in a relationship where I’d have to give that up.
Finished with work for now, I check my watch and see that thirty minutes have passed, and Marsha still isn’t back yet. I stand at the register and stare out the window.
I count the people who walk by on the sidewalk, but I lose track after a while. A growing restlessness is stirring inside me.
Sure, I don’t want to be married, but there is one thing I’d like to experience: sex. For that, I would need a partner. It wouldn’t have to be permanent, though – maybe a one-night stand or a hookup.
Could I do something like that? I wonder.
Sure, I decide.
It would just be to experience it. Other people do it, so it’s not a big deal, I tell myself. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to make a habit out of it. It would just be one time so I could say I’ve finally done it.
I mean, I’ve dated a couple times, but it was never serious. We kissed and made out, but it never got to the level where I even considered having sex.
I wonder what it will be like when I finally do it?
I don’t think I’d do anything crazy, but I’d want it to be hot.
I’d want a guy to start by playing with me first. Exploring my pussy with his fingers, lightly playing with my clit. Maybe eating it until I can’t take it anymore, and I’m ready to go all the way.
I imagine how it would feel, after I’m all wet from his tongue.
To have him slide inside of me.
Slowly stretching me open and filling all of me.
To have him thrusting into me, both of us naked – his body undoubtedly hot.
Me lying under him so I can wrap my legs around him.
My nails digging into his back as he thrusts deeper each time.
Calling out his name as I cum.
Afterwards, I’d have him turn me over and take me from behind. Not anally, of course, as I’m not ready for that level of experimentation yet. But just doggy style, with my ass and pussy bared for him, ready for him to push himself inside me.
These thoughts are turning me on too much. My pussy is dripping wet while I’m at work!
I take a deep breath and tell myself to forget about these thoughts because I’ve still got a job to do.
At that moment, a couple of customers walk in, followed by Marsha. She smiles at me, then walks to her office. I calm my thoughts and put on my most polite smile.
“Hello, how can I help you today?” I ask, addressing one of the customers who looks confused.
We start discussing the bouquets I just fixed, because he has no idea what to get for a girl he wants to be his girlfriend, and I tell him that that one would be perfect. I wonder what it would be like to have a man buy me flowers, but then I push that thought aside.
If I ever want that dream of my own shop to come true, I can’t afford to be distracted from my work.
He buys the bouquet, looking happy to be in and out so quickly, which is a nice change of pace from the last customer.
Later that evening, Marsha says she’s proud of the way I helped all those customers in such record time. We’re both happy that it’s almost time to close for the night. A few customers are still coming in, but it’s still been a slow day, all in all.
I’m slowly sweeping up stems and leaves from the floor, in case I missed any on my last round, but when it gets this late in the day, there’s really not a whole lot left to do. Marsha walks around checking how many flowers are left, and what needs to be restocked and ordered. I can tell that she’s getting anxious to leave.
“Do you have plans for tonight?” she asks me.
She’s clearly just trying to make conversation to make the time go by faster.
“No, I’ll probably just get some dinner and go home,” is my response.