“I know it’s a lot to think about, and a lot to take in. I’ll call you later in the week once I find out more information,” she replies.
“Like I said, I’ll have to think about it.” I glance at the clock, and realize I have very little time left until the family gets back.
“Listen, I have to get some things done,” I say.
“Ok, I’ll call you later in the week?” Sheila asks.
“That’s fine, I’m really happy about your wedding and I wish you all the best!” I reply, sincerely.
“Thanks! I really hope you can make it. I’ll call you soon,” she promises and then we both hang up.
I hurry to bathe and relax before the house gets crowded. I sink into the warm soapy water and all my thoughts and concerns float away. This was exactly what I needed right now.
Chapter 3
Finnegan
I sigh and rub my temples.
I really need a break.
It’s not even the middle of the day and I’m already tired. Owning the distilleries is the easy part – it’s the running of them that stresses me out. My day is only getting worse, because not only am I overseeing the training of several new employees for our new warehouse near Dublin, but I also have to listen to my manager telling me everything that is going wrong with the opening of that new warehouse.
It is stressful because it’s slowing down our distribution process and we could wind up losing money trying to fix it. I don’t like losing anything, especially money.
I sigh deeply and stop listening to him. This is just too much for me to deal with this early in the day. I wish I had thought to take the day off, but I’m the type that never likes to miss a day of business. I turn and start to walk away.
“I’ll be back later, I need to take a break,” I tell him as I walk out.
“Is everything ok, boss?” he asks, sounding a little worried.
“Yes, I just need a few minutes to relax,” I answer.
“Oh ok. Are you going to the Love in Dublin club?” he asks curiously.
“Maybe later; we’ll see,” is my response.
I walk outside to my car. This time of year in Ireland is always cold. I’ve been living here so long that these temperatures no longer bother me. As I start to drive home, I debate whether to turn on the radio, but decide to be alone with my thoughts instead.
I think about what my manager asked. Normally I would stop at the club, because taking care of my kinks and satisfying my needs would normally help me relax, but today I’m just not in the mood.
Maybe that’s what’s been bothering me so much. I’ve been living this BDSM lifestyle for so long that it’s becoming boring. That is very disappointing. I don’t know why I’ve been feeling this way lately, like I’m disappointed or unsatisfied with everything.
I know I should be happy because I make tons of money from my business but sometimes, I just feel so fucking empty and alone. I wish I could shake the sense of depression that I have been having, but I just can’t seem to.
Maybe it’s all that I’ve been through. As I’m driving, I find myself thinking about something that I haven’t in a long time. My life and childhood.
The early years, stuck in the house with my parents fighting.
Having to put up with their abuse of me for all those years.
I think about the freedom I felt when I turned 18. I left them and their abuse so far behind.
I’ve been taking care of myself for so long, going to school, then building my business into the success that it is. Maybe that’s where I lost myself. Where I started to disconnect from everything. I need something to pull me out of this cloud that I’m in, but I can’t seem to find it.
My current life hasn’t been doing a good enough job of it, that’s for sure.
What can I do to change it up, and break free from these things that I’m feeling? I wonder.
I think back to the club, all us billionaires trying to get our hands on some hot young virgin. Each time I go, it’s the same damn thing, over and over and over again.
I hate when I start thinking like this. I don’t like having such dark and depressing thoughts. I try to think of something different.
I wonder what I can do to relax. Maybe go to the gym or take a long hot shower. There’s the usual stuff like listening to music, or reading, but nothing feels right. Maybe I’m just being too picky about everything.
I sigh in frustration and rub my face. I hate feeling this way. I feel tired but I’m not tired.
I think maybe I will stop by the club later. Not really out of enjoyment, but more out of habit. I don’t like to stray from my normal routines.