My big form jolted then.
“What does that mean?” I said harshly. “You need seventy-two instead?”
Brent threw a glare my way, but Katy just sighed, exhausted.
“No, not that,” she said softly. “I think … I think I need longer, you know? I don’t know how long is enough, but my mom got back from the hospital yesterday and the heat and electricity have been turned back on in our trailer. So I guess,” and here she bit her lip, looking down at the coverlet, “I guess I’ll move back in with her for a while and see how things go, see if I can figure things out a little.”
I was really fucking horrified now. It made no sense to me whatsoever. All three of us had acknowledged that we were in love, and yet Katy was fucking moving out? How did that help anything? What the fuck?
But Brent was more circumspect. He nodded, those blue eyes piercing, but understanding all the same.
“Of course,” he rumbled, taking her hand in his. “Of course, we respect your boundaries, and it’s no big deal,” he shot another glance my way. “Tina’s trailer is just on the other side of the park, it’s a ten minute walk at most. It’s no big deal, right Jason?” he said, that deep voice threatening.
But that was the thing. Ten minutes away from my little girl was too much, I’d go nuts without this beautiful body, without her sweet smile, her knowing glances.
“Fuck no,” I ground out. “You’re staying.”
But the brunette just shook her head and took my square hand in one of hers, sitting up all the way now, beautiful jugs on display, that glorious mass of curls framing her angelic face.
“Jason,” she began. “I love you. I love you both, but please, please, please just give me a little space, okay? I promise we’ll work it out somehow.”
And my heart crumped in my chest because seeing the plea in her eyes, the soft tone of her voice, did me in. I couldn’t say no. I loved this woman, adored everything about her, her body, her personality, her need for independence, fuck, even her ability to foresee what could, might, should happen. Katy was sharp as a tack and wanted to consider and contemplate various scenarios before committing to us, she needed to hammer out more of the details, do some deep thinking on her own and absorb the future before it became real.
So what choice did I have? The brunette’s happiness was the most important thing in the world to me, and I relented.
“Fine,” I growled. “But know that we’re waiting. Brent and I,” I said nodding to the older man, “are always here for you.”
And the little girl grasped both our hands then, the three of us forming a circle on the big bed.
“Yes, I know,” she said softly. “And that’s why I love you.”
And with a deep exhale, my heart turned over in my chest. Because I worshipped this woman and if she needed time to spread her wings, explore her surroundings, see a little more of the world, then I’d give it to her. If you love something, let it go right? But the old adage had never said how painful it would be to watch something fly away, waiting with bated breath to see if it’d come back.
The thing is, we had no choice, Brent and I. We had no choice because we couldn’t be any other way, we loved the brunette too much, treasured her, absolutely worshipped the supple female. So there was only the waiting … and I didn’t know if I’d survive.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Katy
I flipped through the pages of a book slowly, reading but not remembering anything, my eyes on the words but unable to see.
“Katy,” interrupted Tina. “Kate-sters, what’s going on with you?”
I glanced up at my mom, sighing.
“Oh hey mom, didn’t hear you come in. How was counseling today? Did the therapist say anything useful?”
My mom snorted.
“Honey, I know everything that doctor is going to say before it even comes out of his mouth,” she said dryly. “Trust me, it’s just the same shit over and over again, the same twelve-step process, they never switch anything up.”
And I sighed. My mom doesn’t have an addiction but a lot of therapies have adapted AA’s twelve-step program to various scenarios. In this case, my mom had a case of severe anxiety and depression but somehow her therapy group was always reciting the AA pledge, droning the words.
“If you don’t like Dr. Jenkins, do you want me to find another doctor for you?” I asked slowly. “Our insurance isn’t bad, I’m sure there are other providers close by.”
But my mom snorted.
“Katy, honey, our insurance is bad, and there’s no one else. Why do you think there’s always a line to see him, why it’s so hard to get an appointment? Because none of us can go anywhere else, that’s why.”