“I won’t lie to you. I can’t say that it didn’t cross my mind. But even though it wasn’t ten million dollars, the people I owed the money to were going to kill me. That I know for a fact.”
“I don’t doubt it. I know people who’d slit your throat for an OxyContin pill. Did he say anything else? Other than what he said about thinking you know somebody but really don’t?”
She sat back in her chair and wiped her eyes with her sleeves. “I didn’t tell you everything. The last time I talked to him was two days before he shot that woman.”
Decker leaned forward. “Why didn’t you tell us before?”
“I was in shock. I guess I couldn’t believe what I’d done to my father. I was terrified everything would come out. And of course it did.”
“Did he call you?”
“Yes.”
“What did he say?”
“He sounded so…sad. So hopeless, when he was the biggest optimist I’d ever known. I just figured it was the cancer. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to beat it. That would depress anyone, right?”
“Right. What else?” prompted Decker.
“He said that whatever happened, I should remember our family as it was. The happy times. When we were all young. Before…before all the crap in life just took over.”
“What did you say to that?”
“I tried to cheer him up. I told him I would come and visit him soon. But it was like he wasn’t listening to me. He said that when you’re looking at the end of your life coming, it was the most clarifying moment he’d ever had.”
“Clarifying moment? I wonder what he meant by that?”
“I don’t know. I tried asking him. But he just wasn’t listening. I thought he was starting maybe to lose it.”
“What else?”
Natalie choked back a sob. “It was so stupid. He asked me if I remembered when I was a little girl and we had all gone to Disney World. And I went on one of the rides and I had a really bad asthma attack. I mean really bad. They had to take me to a hospital in an ambulance. Mom was unhinged by it, so she stayed with my sisters while Dad rode in the back with me. He was very comforting because I was so scared. My dad was always so strong, so calm, no matter what.”
“What did he say to you about that time?”
“I told him I remembered it really well. I had nightmares about it for a year after. I literally thought I was going to die because I couldn’t catch my breath. I had no idea why he was bringing that up now. So when I asked him he said, ‘Remember when the going got tough, who was there for you. Remember your old man was right there holding your hand. Always think of me trying to do the right thing, honey. Always. No matter what.’”
“Why do you think he said that?”
“He was dying. I didn’t read any more into it other than that. I didn’t know he was going to shoot someone two days later and then kill himself. I just thought he wanted me to remember him in a good way. He didn’t have to tell me that. I would have done that regardless. I loved my dad.”
“But now that you know what he did, does it change how you interpret his words on that call?”
Natalie looked at him curiously through bloodshot eyes. “I…I hadn’t really thought about it that way, I guess. Do you think it changes things?”
“I think it might change everything,” replied Decker.
CHAPTER
60
DECKER SAT on the bleachers.
Melvin Mars was right next to him.
They were at a local D.C. high school football field watching the varsity team practice.
“Growing the kids bigger every year,” said Mars. “They look like a college team.”
Decker nodded.
The sky was overcast and a very fine drizzle had started.
“They’re running a pro set,” said Decker. “Everybody wants to get to the NFL these days.”
“I think a lot of these kids would be okay with just getting a shot at a college education,” said Mars.
“You might be right about that.”
“So you called me up to watch a high school football team practice?”
“I talked to Harper Brown,” said Decker.
“Oh, right. Yeah.”
“I went over to your hotel to check on you really early the other morning when you didn’t answer your phone.”
“And you saw her leaving?”
“Yeah.”
“She told me. She also told me about Alex shooting that guy. Damn. How’s she doing?”
“She’ll be okay.” He paused. “So, you and Harper Brown?”
“What do you want me to say? It just happened.”
“You don’t owe me an explanation, Melvin. You’re an adult. You can do what you want.”
“It’s been a long time for me, Decker.”
“You going to see her again?”
“Yeah. I plan to.”
“Good for you.”
“You mean that?”
“Why go through life alone?”
“Hey, hold on. I’m not popping the question or anything. We’re just hanging out. Having some fun.”
“Nothing wrong with that.”
“What about you?”
“What about me what?”
“You just said it. Why go through life alone?”
“I’m not alone. I’ve got you, Alex, Bogart, Milligan.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Hey, didn’t you know? Alex and I are like an old married couple. We argue a lot. About you.”
When Mars look at him quizzically, Decker said, “Long story. Short answer is, we’re both happy for you.”
“Thanks.”