Until the night of that totally unexpected kiss from Richard under the mistletoe, which was even more of a puzzle, given his subsequent behaviour. She had not seen him once since the evening he’d met Miss Waverley, she reflected with resentment.
‘But there must have been some sort of social life in the area. Surely you mixed with the better families in the county? Even attended the local assemblies?’
‘Well, of course we went to dine with friends and attended informal parties of various sorts. But, no, I never went to assemblies.’
‘Why is that? Is your father very strict?’
‘Quite the reverse. He is an absolute darling,’ she said with a fond smile. ‘It is just, well, I never did learn how to dance. And so it would have been pointless attending assemblies, only to sit at the side, aching to join in and being quite unable to do so.’
‘Yet you dance now.’
‘Oh, yes. Aunt Ledbetter hired a dancing master as soon as I came to stay with her. Though I am sure, had I asked, my father would have arranged for me to have lessons himself. Only, somehow I never quite wanted him to think I was hankering for anything so frivolous. You know he is something of a scholar.’
He nodded.
‘Well, he could see the point of going to dine with interesting people, where the conversation would be stimulating. Or inviting all sorts of people to dine with us, or even to stay with us. Scientists and explorers, and inventors. And those house parties were very lively, I can tell you. There were sometimes explosions at the dinner table when men whose theories ran counter to one another had been seated unwisely. And—’ she smiled ‘—even the occasional, literal explosion in one of the outhouses when there happened to be a number of experimental scientists about. But there was never any suggestion anyone wanted to do anything so frivolous as dance.’
‘Scientists and explorers,’ he repeated, with disdain. ‘Very pleasant company for a young girl, I should imagine.’
‘They were very interesting people,’ she retorted.
‘But not given to noticing you enough to pay you any compliments.’
‘Well, the ones who were young enough to be considered, um, eligible, were generally so wrapped up in their own pet theories that they thought of little else. Not that I ever wished to receive any attentions from any of them,’ she said, wrinkling her nose as she mentally reviewed the parade of unkempt and self-absorbed geniuses she’d met over the years.
‘Besides, I was far too busy acting as hostess and keeping things running smoothly to wish for that sort of distraction. You can have no notion how badly experimental scientists can upset the servants if there is nobody to listen to their complaints.’
‘You acted as you father’s hostess?’
She nodded. ‘Of course.’
‘From what age?’
‘Well, Mama passed away when I was twelve. So, shortly after that, I suppose, when Papa began to recover enough to want to entertain again.’
‘At twelve years old, in short, you took over the role that should have been that of an adult woman.’
‘I don’t know why you are looking so cross. Who else should have cared for my family, pray? Papa was distraught for some time, and if I had not reminded him to eat, or wash, I do not know what would have become of him. Then there were Humphrey and Horace to think of. Somebody had to take care of them.’
‘And who took care of you?’
‘I did not need anyone to take care of me. I was perfectly content to—’ She stopped, an arrested look on her face. ‘Oh. Oh. Do you know, I think that feeling useful actually helped me to deal with my own grief. But anyway,’ she said with a shrug, ‘it is not as if I was compelled into a situation I resented. And nobody
denied me anything I really wanted. I could have gone to assemblies and such, or had dancing lessons, if I’d wanted. And you must know that the moment I raised the question of having a Season, Papa took the matter in hand immediately.’
She was not going to admit that she’d already come to the conclusion that had he put a bit more thought into it she might not have ended up staying with a family whose head was engaged in commerce.