‘How dreadful.’
‘It was, actually, because not a week earlier, we’d both attended Lord Levenhulme’s funeral. Now he had fallen from his horse and broken his neck, which is the sort of stupid accident that might happen to any man. But for Toby to just...not wake up. It made me...’
‘Realise that you cannot put off the inevitable.’
‘Precisely so.’
Henrietta did not know what to say. And so they proceeded for a few paces in complete silence.
Until he sighed, and said, ‘Do you have no advice for me? No pearls of wisdom?’
She shot him a startled look. ‘I would not presume to give you advice.’
‘Have I not just asked you to do exactly that?’
‘Well, then,’ she began, tentatively, ‘it seems quite obvious to me what you should do.’
‘Pray enlighten me, then.’
‘You should look for a woman you like, who likes you back. And then perhaps having to marry her won’t seem such a dreadful fate.’
‘It is a start,’ he conceded gravely. ‘I shrink from embarking upon a lifelong relationship with a female for whom I can feel no affection. Nor would I wish to stay shackled to some poor creature who could feel none at all for me. As was the case with my mother. Although,’ he said, shooting her a challenging look, ‘like is such a tepid word. I would have thought you would have recommended I looked for something stronger. Like, perchance, love.’
‘Oh, no! I would never recommend you wait until you fall in love. I don’t think you are capable of...’ She trailed off, blushing.
Although that could not have gone better if he’d planned it—for he had to make her see that although he would not mind if she loved him, she must not expect him to love her back—for some reason he did not like to hear her say it with such conviction.
‘You think me incapable of experiencing such a strong emotion? Or perhaps you meant to say, such a noble one?’
‘N-no, I would never say anything so...’
‘Impertinent?’
‘I was going to say unkind. I just don’t think, from what I have observed of your behaviour, that you are the kind of man to take any action, of any sort, without thinking about it carefully, and planning it down to the last detail. Falling in love is a very...impulsive thing to do. You cannot plan to do it. It just happens. Happens to you in such a way that you would feel...no longer in control. I do not think you would like that feeling. I think you would take care to avoid it.’
‘In that you are correct,’ he said. ‘I would not like it.’ Well, it was better for her to understand him. ‘And you are also correct in thinking that I shall not take a bride without studying her most carefully, and being absolutely sure she will be both a loyal wife to me and a loving mother to my children. Where do you suppose,’ he said quizzically, ‘I might find such a paragon?’
‘I’m sure I have no idea,’ she replied, although at least she did have more of an idea why he’d been so horrified by Miss Waverley’s attempt to trap him. He would have to respect a woman a great deal before she could persuade him she was worth overcoming his reluctance to enter the married state. And Miss Waverley had forfeited his respect by revealing an aspect to her nature that he would never tolerate in a wife.
‘No?’ He smiled at her then, and shrugged his shoulders. ‘Never mind.’
She couldn’t quite understand why that insouciant shrug of his shoulders should make her feel so depressed. It wasn’t as though she wanted Lord Deben to look upon her as a marital prospect.
It was just, well, it was not at all pleasant to discuss some imaginary female, the kind of woman who would tempt him to abandon his bachelor freedoms for, when he took it as read that she was not that woman.
He found her company amusing. She had made him laugh on several occasions. She supposed she must represent quite a change from all the people who agreed with his every word.
But she was very far from being the kind of person who could handle marriage to a man of Lord Deben’s stamp and they both knew it. Or he would not be able to talk to her about the kind of woman he would consider marrying, with such ease. And he would not be teaching her how to go about becoming seductive enough to attract that bevy of suitors he kept talking about.