Never Trust a Rake
Page 63
‘That what?’
‘Why, that unfortunately you appear to have fallen head over heels in love with the man.’
‘Oh dear. Is it that obvious?’ And how come everyone else had seen it before she had? Miss Waverley had accused her ages ago of trotting after him like a lovesick spaniel. But it had only been tonight that she’d castigated herself for behaving like a particularly well-trained dog of that specific breed.
‘Then it is true,’ her aunt continued in a worried voice. ‘I suppose I should have done something about it sooner, but then I have never seen anyone truly struck by the coup de foudre before. In fact, I thought it only happened in romance novels. So at first, when your reaction to him seemed to be doing you so much good, I was simply pleased for you.’
‘Doing me good?’
‘Yes. When you first came to town you were a little unsure of yourself. Instead of blossoming, you began to look downright moped. I was beginning to worry you would ask to return to Much Wakering. And then, all of a sudden, Lord Deben put a sparkle in your eyes. I know, on that first day, that it was from anger, but I thought at the time it was better to see you fire up like that than to see you dwindling from day to day into a shadow of the girl you ought to be.’
‘Now you see, that is what I don’t understand. He makes me so angry! Surely, if I really do love him, I should be feeling...I don’t know...sweet. And a bit soppy and melting when I see him.’
‘That would only be the case if he returned your feelings, my dear.’
‘Which he doesn’t, does he?’ When her aunt remained silent, Henrietta sighed.
‘It is mortifying. I hardly ever stop thinking about him, whereas he seems to regard me as an amusing diversion. It was that which made me lose my temper with him so badly tonight.’
From the shadowy corner of the coach she heard her aunt sigh.
‘I should have taken steps before it came to this. I am sorry that I did not fully appreciate what was happening between you. It was only when you reacted to him with such passion, in public, tonight that I saw how very deeply your feelings run. But I should have seen.’ She clucked her tongue. ‘Wherever we go, you scan the room to see if he is there. When he is present, your eyes follow him, with your heart in them. When he beckons, you fly to him like a little homing pigeon. But the most telling thing of all is the way you have become aware of yourself as a woman.’
‘I have...aware of myself...?’ She could feel her cheeks heating. Though it was exactly what they had been aiming at, she asked, somewhat defensively, ‘What do you mean?’
‘It is all perfectly natural, my dear. When you fall in love, your whole body comes alive when the object of your affection is within sight.’
‘Oh, no...’ she groaned ‘...I never knew. I never guessed...not before tonight.’
Her aunt leaned across the seat and patted her hand.
‘I can hardly criticise you for falling for him, when he has been at such pains to charm you. Rakes are very charming. It is their stock in trade.’
‘He has not been charming at all,’ Henrietta protested. ‘Every time we talk, we...sort of fence with each other.’ Even the time he’d kissed her, it had been a contest of sorts.
‘That is the way he has chosen to fascinate you. Just be thankful he did not choose another way.’
Oh, if only her aunt knew! That kiss had been so tantalising that she was waiting with mounting frustration for the night when he might deign to whisk her away to some secluded spot and kiss her on the mouth.
‘At least you can walk away from him with your reputation intact, now that you realise what he is about.’
Her spirits plummeted. ‘After the way we parted tonight, I don’t suppose he will bother with me any more.’
‘That would be for the best. You have several very eligible suitors dancing attendance upon you, after all. Mr Waring, for instance—what do you think of him?’
Henrietta supposed he must be one of those younger sons who’d taken to seeking her out as a dance partner.
‘I am sorry,’ she said with a shake of her head, ‘but I cannot even bring his face to mind. There is no point in discussing him. No point in discussing anyone, for the present. In fact, I wonder if perhaps I should just withdraw from all this,’ she said, waving her hand vaguely in the direction of the fashionable neighbourhood through which they were driving. ‘I was quite content before he, that is, Lady Dalrymple, inter—intervened.’