I do as he says, a ripple of desire dancing along every nerve ending. His big, soapy hands find my hips and he guides me to the wall. The tile is cold against my chest and dick, making me hiss. He chuckles, deep and rumbly, as he presses his cock against the crack of my ass.
“I’ll warm you up,” he murmurs, his teeth nipping at my shoulder.
I can’t help but push my ass against him, urging him to fuck me. I may be a virgin, but it’s not like I want to be. With a soapy, eager Cope behind me, I’m ready to take this wherever it leads. Even if I’m not sure what the hell it will feel like. I just want to finally be connected with him.
“I’m not going to fuck you.” His whisper against the side of my neck has me freezing.
“W-What?” Disappointment detonates inside me like a bomb.
His teeth tug at my earlobe, his breath hot in my ear. “Not yet.”
I scowl because I don’t know what to say. Sensing my mood change, he grips my hips and turns me so that my back is against the wall. I grit my teeth and can’t meet his stare. His lips find mine and the rejection loses its sting as pleasure once again replaces it. Well before I’m ready to quit kissing, he pulls away. He gently cups the side of my neck as his blue eyes probe me.
“I feel like we’ll need things to make that possible. Time being one of them,” he utters. He presses a kiss to the corner of my mouth. “We’ll work up to it.”
I don’t know what he means or why he doesn’t want to fuck me or what these things are, but I simply nod. Once we’re clean, he shuts off the shower and hands me a towel. We dry off in silence and with towels around our waists, we make our way back into his room.
“Penn,” he says, drawing my attention.
I shift on my feet. “Yeah?”
He approaches, a frown on his face, and grips my face in his palms. “Condoms. Lube.”
Understanding dawns on me. Heat snakes up my spine and wraps around my throat.
“I have experience…” he murmurs. “With one girl. Not guys. And we never did that. I just…I want to be sure I don’t hurt you.”
Oh.
Ohhhh.
“Lie down now, Penn.”
Copeland
If I let my brain think too hard, I start to panic. What the hell am I doing? I’m not gay. I like girls, not guys. As soon as my brain decides to shut up, it’s my heart that reminds me.
It’s just Penn.
Gay or straight or whatever…all that is of no importance.
The hot, trusting look in his big brown eyes squashes all self-doubt. It’s like something deep inside of me craves to cling to that same part of him. Whereas with Ivy I’d felt hollow and empty, with Penn I feel complete. Right now, his gaze fills me with longing and desire. I want to give him everything he wants. What we both want.
As much as the idea of fucking him excites me, I know I need to be patient. And just like I was gentle and careful with Ivy our first time, I’ll be the same with Penn. I refuse to hurt him just to get off.
He rests his casted hand that’s stained with mud across his abs and his legs hang off the bed. I let my gaze roam his body that is flawless.
“Where are you going to let me ink up this skin one day?”
He smiles, crooked and boyish. “Wherever you want.”
My heart thumps with pride and nerves. I know my drawings are good, and one day I’ll learn how to put them on people, but it still unnerves me a little.
“Where? If you had to choose.”
His casted hand slides up his chest to where his heart is and he marks the spot with an imaginary “X.” “Here.”
Some familiar Radiohead lyrics come to mind and I know right then what I’ll do. Right where he’s pointing. The image becomes clear in my mind. One day.
“I’ve never sucked dick before,” I tell him as I reach into the side drawer, hunting for my bottle of lube.
He sits up on his elbows. “You don’t have to, Cope. I can still do that for you. I know this is weird for you—”
“It’s not weird,” I say sharply, cutting him off. “At least it doesn’t feel weird. Out there at the shed, I kept waiting for the disgust to wash over me, but it didn’t. I’ve never wanted to be with someone so badly in my life. Now that I’ve come to that decision in my head, it doesn’t feel anything but right.”
His eyes are curious as he watches my movements. I set the lube on the bed beside him. Pulling my towel off, I toss it on the floor. Like he can’t help himself, his eyes drop to my dick and he licks his lips.