“Want a drag?”
The sultry, familiar voice of my ex-girlfriend wafts around me like the cloying smoke of her cigarette. She offers me the cigarette that’s delicately balanced between her two black-painted fingernails.
“Nah, I’m quitting,” I say roughly, my eyes darting up to search the crowd dispersing from the building.
She shrugs and takes a heavy drag before blowing it out in my face. “Suit yourself.” Her ass rests against Penn’s Jeep as she positions herself directly across from me. Despite her pretty makeup and perfect hair, her eyes are quite telling.
Angry. Confused. Sad.
Guilt rises up inside of me. I led her on for too long. Two years is a long time to spend every free moment with someone. They become attached. Well, in her case, she did. Sure, I loved Ivy in some way, but it’s not the same way I love Penn.
And, fuck, how I love him.
“Why her?” she asks bitterly. “Of all the girls, why Llama Leah?”
I tilt my head up to inspect her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You think I believe Penn is in love with Leah?” she sneers. “I mean, look at her. Look at him. It’s clearly one of these rich kid schemes you people are so good at.”
Rolling my eyes, I let out a frustrated huff. “They’re engaged.”
She steps closer, her eyes narrowing at me. “Yeah, I heard. And you don’t look too happy about it either. So I want to know why her? Why are you in love with her?”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” I bite out.
I hear Leah’s laugh from nearby. Both Ivy and I snap our heads in that direction. Penn’s arm is over her shoulders and he kisses her temple. At least he’s playing the part well. It looks believable. And for some reason, that annoys the shit out of me. I fist my hands, the urge to pry him away from her overwhelming.
“That’s why,” Ivy hisses. “You’re jealous of him. That’s why you’re suddenly hanging out with him again. To be closer to her. Unbelievable.”
Unbelievable because it couldn’t be further from the truth.
But Ivy Cunningham can’t know that.
“Everything okay?” Penn asks as he approaches, fire burning in his brown eyes at seeing Ivy.
Okay, so maybe I’m not the only one who gets jealous.
“Peachy, McAlister,” Ivy says sweetly. Then, she pokes Leah hard in the chest. “You give him one of your nerd girl STDs and I will blow your house up with you in it.”
Leah gapes at her in shock and Penn’s body twitches with barely contained fury.
“What the fuck’s wrong with you?” I roar, grabbing Ivy’s wrist and dragging her away from Penn and Leah.
“Oh, come on.” Ivy’s furious glare meets mine over my shoulder. “When you’re done fucking the geek, you’ll come back to me. We’re meant to be. Nothing will change that, Cope. And when you come back, I don’t want to get tainted by that skank.”
She yanks her hand free from my grip now that we’re no longer near Penn and Leah. Despite the war raging in her blue eyes, her bottom lip trembles ever so slightly. Ivy can be the biggest bitch on the planet sometimes, but I still feel like a dick. My mind drifts to the past, when things with her were okay.
“You love me,” she purrs, drawing a heart with a fingertip over my bare chest.
Ivy is always affectionate right after we have sex. It’s like for five minutes, she’s the sweet girl before I ruined her. I stroke my fingers through her hair.
“Mmmm,” I say in response. I guess I love her in some way.
“Say it,” she demands in a playful yet still desperate way.
I pretend to be asleep.
She slaps my chest. “Don’t be a dick, Cope.”
“Fine,” I grumble. “Love you.”
Her sigh lets me know she doesn’t like that my response is just a forced one. She sits up and I peek my eyes open at her. With her brows furrowed and her troubled green eyes darting all over me, I feel shame. Why can’t I just love her like a normal fucking guy? Why must I drag her along, always dangling the carrot of hope that I might one day wake the fuck up and realize she’s a great girl? But I can’t. All I can do is give her the tiny morsels of myself. It’s all I have to give. And on some deep level, I think she understands this. Maybe even appreciates it. Too bad she deserves way more than a few morsels.
“Do you think we’ll get married one day?” she asks, grabbing my wrist to bring it to her full, naked breast.
I gently run my thumb over her nipple, hardening it. “Maybe,” I lie. I’ll never get married. Dad proved that marriages are just a shitty means to an end.
She straddles my stomach, baring her body to me, and then reaches for another condom. The door flings open and my dad storms in. His eyes narrow as he takes in the naked girl in my bed. I don’t like the perverted look in his eyes as he appreciates my girlfriend’s rack. I shove her into the bed beside me and yank up the sheet.