The Moment of Truth

The cat litter box was cleaned. Her schedule for the week was made out. She’d cooked and frozen portions of bean soup, chicken-and-mushroom-soup casserole and a ham-and-mashed-potato mixture. Enough food to get her, Josh and anyone who stopped by through the week.

She was doing just fine until she pulled open the front door.

“Josh...” She should have looked through the peephole first.

He stepped by her without a word, but judging by the brief glimpse she had of his face, he was not doing well.

“We have to get some things straight,” he said, standing in the middle of her living room with Kari and Lindy Lu on his feet attempting to welcome him and get to L.G., who was tucked under his arm like a football again.

“Like the fact that this is my home and you are a guest here only as long as I allow you to remain?” What was she saying? “I’m so sorry,” she blurted next. “I’m... Please, sit down. Stay as long as you like. What did you want to get straight?”

She was babbling again. She wasn’t sure she knew who she was anymore. It was far too soon in her pregnancy for her to be snippy. Her pregnancy. Oh, God. Pregnant wasn’t her.

“No, you’re right,” Josh said, dropping to the edge of the couch, still holding his dog. “I have no right to barge in here and tell you how things are going to be. I just... It’s been a rough day.”

“You can put him down, you know,” she said.

“He hasn’t been out in a long time. I came home and grabbed him up and headed straight over here.”

He’d been gone somewhere. Was that why she hadn’t heard from him all day? Not even a text message? After he’d called last night to tell her they had to talk?

“Let’s put him out, then,” she said, taking the dog from him, scooping up Lindy Lu and carrying them both out back.

She took some deep breaths, trying to gather the bands of control back around herself. She could handle this. Because she was always the one who handled everything. It was just a matter of staying calm.

The door slid open behind her. “I helped myself to a glass of juice. And brought one for you.”

She’d squeezed the oranges fresh that morning. “Thank you,” she said, accepting a beverage she didn’t want.

“I don’t mean to be bossy or autocratic,” he said, leaning on a porch support while she stood staring out into the backyard.

“You’re fine.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine.”

“Not sick or anything?”

“Nope. If I get morning sickness, it won’t come until a little later.” Hopefully perfectly timed over Christmas break. Because she absolutely could not miss class and have her grades drop.

“Have you thought about school?”

What, he was a mind reader now? “What about it?”

“Are you going to take a semester off? You can’t very well go to class if you’re having a baby.”

He sounded pained by the idea.

“Of course I can. I have to.” Little Guy pranced around the yard as though he owned it. Lindy Lu was trotting right behind him, step for step.

“What do you mean, you have to?”

“If I drop out, not only do I lose the scholarship, but I have to pay back everything I’ve used so far. Tuition alone is more than I can cover. Add in the year’s rent I paid in advance and the living expenses, and there’s no way I can afford to quit school. And that’s aside from the fact that I’d then lose this chance to get an education at all.”

Her words came out stronger than she would have liked. Stronger than she was feeling them. But if she wasn’t strong, she was going to fall apart.

“Besides.” She softened her tone. “There’s no need for me to quit school. While having a baby is definitely going to complicate things, I can make the timing work. I’ll be due sometime in August. So my most uncomfortable time will be during the summer and I don’t have to take summer school to maintain the scholarship.”

“I hear that summers here are brutal. You’ll be at your most uncomfortable state in one hundred and fifteen degree temperature.”

If he was trying to make her feel better, he was failing. It wasn’t as if she had any say in the timing.

“But I don’t have to work and I don’t have to go out during the day at all, if I don’t want to. I can do my shopping in the evening when the sun goes down.” She’d already worked through this.

She’d be fine. Was lucky, really, that she had all of her living expenses covered for the next four years. And health insurance, too, at least for her. She’d have to check on the baby, but she had time to figure that out.