He winces. “Because of me?”
“I was holding on to hope, and I didn’t want to give that up.”
Tristan is very quiet. “I don’t think I’ve said it properly. I am so sorry, Nicola. Walking away like that—even if it was what I felt I had to do—it was wrong. You deserved so much better than that, and I was a selfish asshole not telling you to move on without me. You could have been far away from here by now.”
I frown. “Do you think I regret it?”
“I think that I’m going to continue to find out all the ways that my selfishness affected you.”
Shaking my head, I stand and cross to him. “Don’t take all of that on yourself. It was you, but it wasn’t only you. I was in school for a couple of years after you left, and after, I wasn’t ready to leave. Even if I had known that I would never have a chance with you, I don’t know that I could have gone. This is the place that I’ve always known, and it would have taken me a while to figure this out anyway.”
I lean up on my tiptoes to kiss him lightly, throwing caution to the wind, and the chime on the machine buzzes, startling us both. He smiles then, though it’s still a bit haunted. “Shall we try it?”
“Bottoms up.” I pour two samples from the dispenser and hand one to him. We taste it at the same time. At first it’s the same familiar orange flavor that I’ve perfected—both sharp and creamy, like the orange you might taste in a creamsicle. But then it’s different, the flavor lightens into more citrus, lemony and bright before it fades into the basil.
It’s not perfect, but it’s well on its way. “Holy shit,” I say, beaming at Tristan. “What did you do?”
“Added lemon as the secondary flavor. You need something in the transition, otherwise the two flavors don’t connect.”
“This is really good,” I tell him. “This is something that I can work with.”
“Happy to be of service,” he laughs.
I glance at the clock, and am shocked at the time. I was going to suggest that we steal away to one of the janitor’s closets, but I’m already late. “I’d put you to a different kind of service, but I have a meeting about the Valentine’s Gala.”
“I’m assuming you’ll be attending?”
I nod. “I will be. Jill is even trying to set me up with a date.” A laugh bubbles up through me when I see him deflate. “The meeting is with her. I’m going to tell her that I already have a date arranged. That is, if you’re free that day.”
“You bet your ass I am,” he says. “I think that might be a good time. To tell people.”
It’s my turn to wince. “Maybe. I’m not sure I want that kind of public setting for it, but you’re right, it certainly makes a statement on Valentine’s Day. And believe me, you’re going to like the dress I have picked out.”
He takes a step closer. “I bet that I’m going to enjoy peeling you out of it even more.”
“You’re insatiable.”
“For you? Always.”
I blow him a kiss as I head out the door of the lab. “Thank you for the flavor. I’ll see you later?”
“Count on it.”
The meeting is in Jill’s office which is clear on the other side of the building. I’m relieved that she can take her sexy date and keep him for herself. I’ve already got the hottest date in town.
In my hurry to get out of the door, I forgot to take off my lab coat. I drape it over my arm as I knock on her door. “Sorry I’m late. Had a breakthrough.”
She smiles. “That’s great! Sit down, I’m almost ready.”
I haven’t really talked to Jill in the last week since everything happened, and my instinct is to tell her everything. But I can’t, not if I want to keep this a secret. But maybe I can hedge around who it is and tell her parts of it, because she’s my best friend and I want to brag about my boyfriend.
Besides, Jill and I, despite being close, have only known each other for a couple of years. So he doesn’t know about my history with Tristan the way some of my friend’s from high school do. It wasn’t exactly a secret in my friend group that I was into him. It was all I could think about at one point.
“I was going to tell you, Jill, I have a date for the gala so you don’t need to worry about me.”
She stops typing and stares at me. “Seriously?”
I laugh. “Seriously.”
“Is it just like a date or are you seeing someone?” It’s impossible for me not to blush, and she sees it right away. “Oh my god, Nicola, tell me everything.”