My Son's Girlfriend

“You should see your face!” he says, smiling impishly, like nothing is the matter at all. “It’s like you’ve seen a ghost!” I can’t speak, but shoot him a wavery smile.

“Well, um,” I stutter. “I was just surprised, um,” I continue, gesturing towards his now closed laptop. Jimmy laughs again.

“Oh, that?” he shrugs. “I’m just doing research for my Gender and Sexuality class. No biggie,” he adds. But my eyes go involuntarily to his lap under the desk, where there is definitely a biggie! Sticking up through Jimmy’s loose shorts, his boner stands up as obvious as a tentpole. He flushes when sees me looking and shifts awkwardly, trying to hide it. He clears his throat, his smile now gone.

“Look, I actually need to finish this assignment before my class, which includes watching this video. So maybe it’s best if I come find you later?” he suggests. “We could go grab some food or something tonight?” It’s like I’ve lost the use of my vocal cords. A million thoughts rush through my mind, and a million questions. I’m burning to ask Jimmy about what I just saw, but I can’t find the words. Instead, I turn to leave, swallowing hard.

“S-sure,” I manage. “Just um, text me when you’re um, ready, or whatever. I’ve got no more classes this afternoon.” Jimmy nods and I hastily close the door behind me. I stand there for a second, feeling my heart pound in my chest, then decide to get the hell out of there. I don’t want to hear the video starting up again, I don’t want Jimmy to leave his room to go to his class, and I definitely don’t want to confront him again. Not until I make sense of what just happened.

I hurry back to my dorm while passing people basking in the sun on the lawn outside. As I speed walk by with my head down, I’m vaguely aware of the tinny sound of pop-tunes coming from small speakers here and there. There’s laughter and light-hearted conversation, but together with the bright sunshine and the blue sky, it’s the complete opposite of how I’m feeling right now. Frankly, my heart’s pumping hard and there’s a semi-nauseous feeling in my stomach. I need to get back to my dorm to mull things over. Unlike just twenty minutes ago, I now hope Nicole there.

Fortunately, she is. I see my friend as soon as I stumble into our room, out of breath.

“What’s the matter?” she says immediately, looking worried. “You look like you just saw a ghost.” Oh crap. I really must look frazzled. By contrast, Nicole’s slim and sleek in a gorgeous sundress that shows off her incredible figure, and is in the middle of putting on her sandals.

“Um, yeah,” I stammer from my position by the door. “I think -” I start, pointing over my shoulder as I try to find the words. Nicole looks at me expectantly as she finishes putting on her sandals and stands up, pulling a beach bag onto her shoulder. She’s obviously only here to get changed before getting some sun outdoors.

“Yeah?” she asks. But I can’t finish my sentence. “Katie? Are you okay?”

I nod, realizing I’m coming across weirder than I intended. “Yeah, it’s just – well, I think I just walked in on Jimmy watching porn. I mean, I definitely did,” I blurt out. A smile spreads across Nicole’s face as she looks relieved.

“Oh, is that all? I thought it was something tragic given that look on your face!” She turns back to her bed and continues gathering her things. “Look, I know Jimmy’s basically perfect, but even perfect needs a release sometimes. Boys watch porn,” she says, shrugging like it’s no big deal.

“Yeah, but,” I start timidly, suddenly unsure whether I want to talk about it. Saying it out loud will make it real, after all. “Do they watch gay porn?” I finish. Nicole’s face drops, and an awkward look spreads across her face.

“What?” she asks. “Gay porn? Are you sure?” I take a step and let myself fall into the couch, rubbing my temples.

“Yeah. I mean I’m sure it was gay porn. But I dunno, he sort of laughed it off, and said he watching it for his Gender and Sexuality class. But,” I continue with an awkward giggle. “I mean, he definitely had a boner.”

“No way!” Nicole gasps. “Are you sure?” I nod slowly. At this, Nicole sits down in the armchair opposite me, suddenly serious.

“You need to straighten this out. You need to speak to him and get this out in the open.”

“And say what? Hey Jimmy, about that erection you had when I walked in on you watching gay porn,” I laugh sourly, making Nicole nod again.

“Yeah well, not in those words exactly. But you need to confront him. Watching porn, that’s one thing. Especially considering…,” she says, gesturing at my virginal self, making me roll my eyes. “But gay porn! That needs a better explanation than some Gender and Sexuality assignment. Do you believe him?”