There was still no sign of Bishop and she hadn’t seen him since the situation in the barn. Time was moving by and even though she was happy, there were moments. Fleeting moments when she’d start to feel a panic build within her for no reason at all.
She couldn’t figure out why she was so afraid. Time was ticking against her, and she needed to get her shit together or lose, but what exactly, she didn’t know. Only that she had a time limit on everything. It was hard to talk to anyone about a feeling though. They really didn’t understand. Nothing in an emotion or feeling was tangible.
“You look happy,” Bear said.
They were meeting up at the diner. They’d just put their order in and she turned to Bear, smiling.
“I feel happy.”
“Any new memories?”
It was like a broken record with all of them. Any new memories, or triggers?
“Nothing new so far.”
“Preacher told me about your panic attack. How are you feeling now?”
“I’m feeling good. I mean, I think I’m doing good. I don’t know. I guess time will tell.”
“What’s bothering you?” Bear asked.
She sipped at her water and looked around the diner. She noticed people were watching them. Some whispered behind their hands. Not one person other than the Twisted Monsters had dared to come near her. They didn’t offer her any solution or clue as to who she was. “I don’t know. Bishop being away. I wanted to talk to him about something.”
“What?”
“Why does everyone look tense when I say Bishop’s name?” she asked. She’d been asking Preacher how his search was going. She didn’t have the first clue as to why it was such a huge problem for everyone.
“It’s nothing.”
“And again with the lies. How can I help anyone out when you’re all keeping secrets from me? This doesn’t help me.”
“We’re not keeping secrets from you. Just know the club is doing whatever it can to protect you.”
“I don’t need protecting,” she said.
Bear took her hands in his. “Sweetheart, you didn’t see the way you looked when you were found. The car did a number on you, sure, but you were hurt before the car.”
“So, I don’t make the best of choices. That shouldn’t be a reason for you to … you know, keep me in the dark. Besides, what I wanted to talk to you about kind of concerns Bishop.”
“Why would anything concern him?”
“I’m married to him and I’m sleeping with his dad.”
Bear scrunched up his face. “No, no. I don’t need to hear that shit. You’re still my little girl. You don’t even know what sex is all about.”
She winced. “Sorry. I guess I wasn’t delicate enough for you.” She still had to feel that connection with Bear. The one that made her really believe he was her father.
“Delicate enough? Try not at all. Wow, you do know I need time and space to build into that kind of chaos. I’m now going to be thinking about killing Preacher. Not a thought I need when we’ve got church.”
“You go to church? How come you didn’t invite me?”
“It’s special for the club. It doesn’t concern you.”
“Oh, how charming.”
“I don’t mean it like that.”
“Exactly how do you mean it?” she asked.
“Can we move on?”
“Did you know about Preacher and me before I … you know, came back?”
“I knew about you on the night you were taken. Up until that point, I figured you’d both developed a friendship, which was expected. You were always close, especially with … you know.”
“The baby?”
“Have you remembered this or is this Preacher trying to cut out the middleman?” he asked.
“I don’t remember, but Preacher did tell me some things. Not a lot, but some.”
“Can we move on? Preacher and I, we have an agreement, and I don’t want to go and kill him.”
“What kind of agreement?”
“You want to cause a fight?”
“No, I’m just, me and my curious mind is all.”
“If you must know, he’s agreed to keep it clean. I don’t have to witness you making out, or post-fucking or pre-fucking. It works for us. I don’t want to think of the two of you together. Let’s move on. What is all of this about Bishop?”
“I’m sure it doesn’t come as a shock that I really don’t want to be married to him anymore.”
“Oh.”
“And I don’t know how to go about finding the right paperwork or anything, but I want to annul the marriage. Unless we did it before?” She was a little dark on all the details and no one was forthcoming with how she went about becoming her own person. It felt right to end things once and for all with Bishop. They didn’t have anything real, so she didn’t see a reason to prolong their relationship.
“I’m going to have to talk with Preacher about this,” he said. “Why didn’t you ask him?”