She pressed her fingers to her temples for a moment before letting her arms drop back to her sides. ‘When our mother died it felt like the end of the world.’
He reached out and closed his hand around hers and she suddenly felt less alone, less...diminished. She gripped his hand and stared doggedly out to sea. She couldn’t look at him. If she looked at him she might cry. ‘She was the lynchpin that kept all our worlds turning. The crazy thing was I never realised that until she was gone.’ She hauled in a breath. ‘And the work she did at the Russel Corporation was crucial.’
Karen Russel had been the administrator of the Russel Corporation’s charity arm, and Audra’s father had valued her in that role without reservation. Humanitarian endeavours formed a key component of the corporation’s mission statement and it wasn’t one he was comfortable trusting to anyone outside the family.
‘But her influence was so much wider than that.’ She blinked against the sting in her eyes. ‘She worked out a strategy for Rupert to evolve into the role of CEO; she researched laboratories that would attract the most funding and would therefore provide Cora with the most promising opportunities. If she’d lived long enough she’d have found excellent funding for Justin’s efforts in South-East Asia.’ Justin was implementing a dental-health programme to the impoverished populations in Cambodia. He had ambitions to take his programme to all communities in need throughout South-East Asia.
She felt him turn towards her. ‘Instead you found those funding opportunities for him. You should be proud of yourself.’
No sooner were the words out of his mouth than he stilled. She couldn’t look at him. He swore softly. ‘Audra—’
‘When our mother died, I’d never seen the rest of my family so devastated.’ She shook her hand free. ‘I wanted to make things better for them. You should’ve seen my father’s relief when I said I’d take over my mother’s role in the corporation after I’d finished university. Justin floundered towards the end of his last year of study. He had exams coming up but started panicking about the licences and paperwork he needed to file to work in Cambodia, and finding contacts there. The laboratory Cora worked for wanted sponsorship from business and expected her to approach the family corporation. And Rupert...well, he missed the others so having me around to boss helped.’
She’d stepped into the breach because Karen was no longer there to do it. And someone had to. It’d broken her heart to see her siblings hurting so badly.
Finn had turned grey. He braced his hands on his knees, and she couldn’t explain why, but she had to swallow the lump that did everything it could to lodge in her throat. ‘You’ve been what they’ve all needed you to be.’
‘I’m not a martyr, Finn. I love my family. I’m proud I’ve been able to help.’ Helping them had helped her to heal. It’d given her a focus, when her world had felt as if it were spinning out of control.
He straightened, his eyes dark. ‘She wouldn’t want this for you.’
‘You don’t know that.’ She lifted her chin. ‘I think she’d be proud of me.’
He chewed on his bottom lip, his brows lowering over his eyes. ‘Have you noticed how each of you have coped with your mother’s death in different ways?’
She blinked.
‘Rupert became super-protective of you all.’
Rupert had always been protective, but... She nodded. He’d become excessively so since their mother’s death.
‘Cora threw herself into study. She wanted to top every class she took.’
Cora had found solace in her science textbooks.
‘Justin started living more in the moment.’
She hadn’t thought about it in those terms, but she supposed he had.
One corner of Finn’s mouth lifted. ‘Which means he leaves things to the last minute and relies on his little sister to help make them right.’
Her lips lifted too.
‘While you, Princess...’ He sobered. ‘You’ve tried to fill the hole your mother has left behind.’
She shook her head. ‘Only the practical day-to-day stuff.’ Nobody could fill the emotional hole she’d left behind.
‘Your siblings have a genuine passion for what they do, though. They’re following their dreams.’
And in a small way she’d been able to facilitate that. She didn’t regret that for a moment.
‘You won’t be letting your mother down if you follow your own dreams and open a shop here on Kyanós.’
‘That’s not what it feels like.’ She watched a seabird circle and then dive into the water below. ‘If I leave the Russel Corporation it’ll feel as if I’m betraying them all.’