Breathe (Sea Breeze 1)

He seemed worried, and I wanted to send the lady away because she upset him.

“Will it hurt her? Is she going to stay awake?”

The lady smiled at me, and then turned back to Jax. “She’s going to be fine. Now go.”

He looked at me one more time, and then was pushed out of the room by another nurse coming in.

“Jeesh, I sure am glad you’re awake. That poor boy is about to drop from exhaustion. Although, I will admit, it was nice having our own little concert around here. We just kept your door open and listened while he sang to you. Sometimes he would spend hours just singing. I swear he sang that ‘Don’t Cry’ song a hundred times.”

I smiled at the thought of Jax singing to me.

“Yes, go ahead and grin. If I had a hot rock star singing to me and watching over me like a mother hen, I would smile, too,” she teased, and then reached for a glass of water. “Are you thirsty?”

I nodded, knowing my throat was too dry to speak. She sat my bed up and instructed me to take small sips. I did for a few minutes.

After I swallowed, I said, “My throat hurts.”

The nurse nodded. “You’ve had a tube down your throat for a while. After you woke up briefly last night, we took it out in case you woke up again and panicked during the night.”

I nodded and reached for the cup.

“Remember, slow sips,” she warned, and then continued to work over me. She examined my head and nodded. “You’re going to be just fine, Miss White. Before you know it, you will be up and going again. However, this time things should be easier for you. That smitten rock star out there seems to be taking care of everything.”

My heart swelled when I remembered Jax stood right outside my door.

“You have quite a few other guests that he didn’t allow in here for very long periods of time. I’m sure they will want to be contacted. You might have to encourage him to do that. I don’t know if he is going to want to share you right away.”

I nodded and smiled. “All right.”

She took her supplies and opened the door. Jax glanced in at me, and then back at her anxiously.

“She’s fine. She will be out of here in a few days.” Jax seemed to almost slump in relief. He walked back into the room and closed the door behind him.

“You okay?” he asked, and this time my throat worked much better.

“Yes, I’m fine,” I assured him, and he beamed at me.

He pulled his stool right up beside me again, and took my hand. “Sadie, I’m sorry. I left you here thinking I was doing what was best for you, and I knew you didn’t have a stable home life. I wanted to leave you a car and money and,” he laughed bitterly, “I wanted to leave you everything you could ever need. But I knew you wouldn’t take it and you would resent it. Leaving without knowing you were taken care of was so hard. But I convinced myself you would be better off without me. Ms. Mary promised to get you a good job with good pay and benefits. I wanted you to have a safe, comfortable senior year. I had no idea....”

I put my finger over his mouth. “Stop it. Nothing is your fault. You did what you had to do. Your world is different from mine, and I understand that.”

He kissed my finger, and I had to catch my breath. “I knew when I caved in and allowed myself to be with you, that your life was going to be turned upside down. My world was going to affect you, but I pushed those thoughts away, and I just lived in the moment. When I saw your face all over television, and I heard you being talked about like your personal life was nothing, I lost it. I wanted to hurt someone, and when I realized it was my fault, I wanted to hurt myself. So I hurt myself in the deepest way possible…by walking away from you.” He paused and held my hand against his face. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I was trying to save you from me, but it was a very bad plan, and I’m so sorry.”

I licked my very dry lips and smiled. “Thank you for being here, now. I fought the darkness so hard because I kept hearing something. It was music. I remember thinking the sound of it made me warm inside. I fought so hard to get close to it. Now I know it was you. If you hadn’t been here singing to me I don’t know if I would have fought at all.”

He closed his eyes for a minute, and pain flickered across his face. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about you and me. I know my life is not normal, and I can’t be the boy who sits behind you in class, no matter how appealing that sounds, but I can’t walk away again. I’m not that strong.” He moved closer to me and touched my face with his other hand. “If you still want me, I’m yours. Your life will never be normal. You will be put in a spotlight, although I am going to keep you as safe as possible. But here’s the thing, I didn’t get to go to high school. I missed out on all my experiences because I was on the road touring. I can’t do that to you. I need you to get every experience high school has to offer, and enjoy it...for me. I will come back to my summer house one week out of every month, and any other time I can squeeze in. I know my schedule is crazy right now with the tour, but I'm going to make this work. I swear.”

I lay there, trying to comprehend his words and knowing I would do anything to have him back in my life. I didn’t care anymore if my privacy was invaded, if I had him, it wouldn’t matter.

“What experiences are there for me in high school? I hate it.”

He smiled and traced my cheekbone with his finger. “Well, there are football games and dances and being picked on in the hallway. There is bad cafeteria food and field trips and, heck, I don’t know I missed it all. I just don’t want you to turn back one day and wish you had lived through it. Because when you did, it would be my fault. I’m asking you to give up so much to be with me. I can’t take everything.”

I sighed. “But all those things I never do. I never go to football games, and I am not going to any dances. Sam needs me.”

Jax shook his head. “No, when Jessica gets home, Sam is going to have a mother, not a big sister, caring for him. I am in communication with her doctor, and he says she is much better, but she was in a very bad state.”

Relief washed through me. To know Jessica would be returning to her normal self sounded wonderful. Being a mom at seventeen had almost killed me, and I needed her to be one for Sam.

“I still have no desire to do those things.”

He grinned wickedly. “How about doing them for me?”

I sighed and closed my eyes, wishing he was asking anything of me but this. Finally, I opened my eyes and nodded. “Okay, for you.”

He broke into a huge grin, leaned forward, and kissed my lips softly. “Thank you,” he whispered before sitting back down.

“Ms. Mary is in the waiting room dying to see you, and so is...um…Marcus,” he finished reluctantly.

I smiled and squeezed his hand. “Marcus has been a wonderful friend through everything.”

Jax nodded. “Yeah, he made sure to threaten my life if I hurt you again. Then he gave me a very descriptive recap of what happened after I left.” Jax swallowed hard and looked away. “Because I owe him for being what I couldn’t be, I am allowing him in here.”

I smiled as Jax stood and turned for the door.

“However, if he so much as goes near your face with his lips, all bets are off.”

I laughed, and Jax gave me one last sexy grin before walking out the door to get my friends.

Ms. Mary entered first with the anxious frown of a worried mother on her face. “Oh, Sadie, honey, I am so glad to see those eyes. Girl, you have given me the scare of my life. Lord, if I had known things were so bad I would have done something.” She touched my hand, leaned down, and kissed my forehead.

“I’m fine now. How’s Sam?”

She smiled and sat down beside me in the chair Jax had been in earlier. “He is wonderful. I started him on some rice cereal, and he is sleeping all night long now. He is such a happy baby.”

“Thank you, so much. I don’t have to worry about him when I know he is with you. It means a lot that you’re taking care of him.” Tears stung my eyes.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sadie, honey, you’re my family now too. I love you just like I do my own kids. Don’t you go thanking me for nothing.”

At her words, the tears spilled over. I had a family now. It had always been me and Jessica against the world, but now I had others to love and who loved me back.

“Oh, lordy, if Master Jax catches you crying, he is gonna shoo me out of here for good. Stop that now. You got Marcus outside with Jax, and the way they are glaring at each other, it won’t be long before we have a fight on our hands. I’m gonna go.” She squeezed my hand. “I’m so happy you came back to us, sweetie. You’re very loved.” She turned to leave.

“Ms. Mary.”

She stopped and said, “Yes, honey?”

I smiled through my tears. “I love you too.”

She sniffed and wiped a tear from her eye. “I know you do, girl, I know you do.” She walked out of the room.

Jax stepped back inside and frowned at me, concerned. “Are you all right? Ms. Mary is crying, and so are you.” He came over and wiped the tears from my face.

I smiled through them. “These are happy tears. Now stop fussing over me and let Marcus in.”

Jax nodded, but didn’t smile, and went back into the hallway.

Marcus came in with a fierce frown on his face. “I swear, Sadie, if you ever scare me like that again, I’m not sure I can live through it.”

I grinned. “I don’t intend to ever scare anyone like this again.”

He managed a smile and sat down beside me. “I didn’t get to come in here but once while you were um...out of it.... Jax refused to leave your side, and they only allowed one at a time. However, Jax let me in once, but he didn’t leave, he kept sitting in the seat over there playing his guitar and singing. I swear, he has every woman in this hospital in love with him.”

He rolled his eyes, and I laughed. “Don’t let it get to you, Marcus. He is a rock star. They would have been in love with him even if he hadn’t sung to me.”

Marcus sighed and leaned back in the chair. “I don’t know, Sadie. I’m a guy, and I will be honest with you, seeing someone like him in a corner of a hospital room, playing love song after love song and refusing to leave your side, was pretty touching. I’ve managed to let go of most of my resentment towards him.”

I pictured Jax singing to me, and I wished I had been awake to watch him. “I love him,” I whispered.

Marcus nodded. “I know you do. You have loved him about as long as I have known you. It’s something I have come to grips with. I never stood a chance. He stole your heart first.”

I smiled sadly at the friend I would also always love. He had been my knight in shining armor when I needed one.

“I love you too,” I said, almost without choking up.

He smiled at me. “I know you do. Just not the way you love him.”

“You’re the best friend I have ever had, Marcus. You have been there for me when I needed someone the most. I will never forget that. But he stole my breath away the moment we first spoke. He’s my air.”

Marcus stared down at the floor for a moment, and I gave him time. Finally, he looked back up at me. “I used to think he didn’t deserve your love, but now I think he may just be as in love with you as you are with him. I want you to be happy, and if he makes you happy, then that’s all that matters.”

“He affects all my emotions. My happiness is connected to him.”

Marcus nodded and stood up. “Yeah, I figured as much.” He glanced at the door. “He is going to come bursting in here any minute and make me go back to disliking him, so I had better leave before that happens.”

I laughed. “Okay, thank you for everything.”

Marcus smiled. “It was my pleasure.” He left the room.

I knew he would always be there when I needed him, but in a way, I had just set him free.

Jax stepped back in the room, smiling at me. “Can you try to eat something?”

I thought about food, and, suddenly, I was very hungry. I nodded. “Yes, I think so.”

He broke out into a very happy grin, opened the door, and signaled for a nurse. “She wants food.”

The nurse stuck her head and smiled. “You ready to try some Jello?”

Jello was not what I had been thinking, but apparently I had to start somewhere. “Yes, please.”

She nodded and stepped back out of the room. Jax picked up his guitar from the corner and sat down and began to play. He smiled, and the smooth voice that had made him famous joined the guitar.

* * *