Lovers Not Friends

She flushed violently, her stomach tightening as a sudden mental image of the two of them entwined in the throes of lovemaking flashed briefly into her mind. ‘You could go back to London, to your job, to—other women if that’s what you want.’ Her voice was low and painful and she felt him tense like a steel rod at her side before relaxing after a long minute as the breath hissed out of his mouth angrily.

‘I’ll do you a favour and forget you said that,’ he said grimly. ‘When I took you into my life and into my bed it was a lifelong commitment, Amy. I, at least, find it difficult to forget that.’

She sank back against the soft leather seat, her eyes bruised and enormous. He was making this so hard, impossible—she’d go mad before it was finished.

‘Where are we going?’ she asked dully, after a few miles had passed in painful silence.

‘I’ve no idea.’ He glanced at her briefly before concentrating on the winding road again. ‘I thought we’d drive a while, take in some local colour before stopping at one of your little English pubs for lunch. Sound OK?’

‘I don’t mind.’ Her voice was flat and she heard him draw the breath into his mouth through his teeth in an irritated sigh. Well, she couldn’t help it! She was bleeding inside, slowly and fatally. She would never have believed mental anguish like this could be bearable.

The countryside through which they wound was tranquil and sleepy, green hillsides, winding rivers, the inevitable grey stone walls carving an endless pattern up into the rolling summits and down into fields of velvet green grass. Carpets of wild flowers perfumed the clean pure air with their faint scent, spilling over on to the grass verges and down into little dells where sparkling streams sang their way over smooth round pebbles. It was beautiful, magical, but Amy’s eyes were blind with misery. I’ve made such a mess of all this, she thought bleakly as the familiar delicious smell of Blade’s aftershave teased her nostrils and tightened her lower stomach into one giant ache. She couldn’t see him each day without betraying herself, she just couldn’t …

‘Can you afford to leave the business for days on end like this?’ she asked carefully, when they had been driving for some time in cold silence. ‘I’d have thought—’

‘Consideration? At this late date?’ His voice was bitingly cool. ‘Don’t tell me you are actually thinking of my welfare? Or could it be that you just want to get rid of me as soon as possible?’

‘It’s just that after our—’ She stopped abruptly and as his eyes flashed to her face, their blackness fiery, before returning to the road ahead she knew he had read her mind again and had known what she was going to say.

‘After our …?’ he asked silkily.

‘After our honeymoon you had so many problems to sort out,’ she finished in a little desperate rush. How could she have been so stupid as to mention their honeymoon? she asked herself miserably. Talk about a red rag to a bull.

‘That’s my concern, not yours,’ he said shortly, his face dark and cold.

‘Blade—’ she paused, biting her lower lip helplessly ‘—can’t we behave like two reasonable people, let the divorce go through as amicably as possible?’

‘But I don’t feel reasonable, Amy,’ he drawled imperturbably, ‘in fact I feel anything but. The things I would like to do to you—’ He stopped abruptly as his voice tightened and it was a full minute before he spoke again, and then his voice was smooth and controlled with just a hint of cynical mockery. ‘Let’s just say I don’t feel reasonable and leave it at that. Enjoy the drive for now and after lunch we’ll have a nice little chat.’

‘We’ve got nothing to say to each other,’ she countered quietly as her heart leapt into her throat.

‘On the contrary.’ He sounded his horn at two large crows who were haggling in the middle of the road over some titbit that looked disgusting. ‘There’s the tedious business of washing all the dirty linen for a start.’

She sank a little lower into the upholstered seat and shut her eyes tightly for a moment. She was going to have to be careful, so careful. If he even got an inkling of what this was all about …

‘I understand your white knight, the slayer of dragons, is visiting Mother?’ he continued drily with cold mockery. ‘I’m surprised he didn’t take you along hidden in the boot to keep you from my evil clutches.’

‘How do you know John’s—?’ She stopped as a little bell sounded in her mind. ‘Oh, of course, Mrs Cox,’ she said flatly. He had really made a killing there, she thought bleakly.