“Ah.” Calliope pushed the untouched mug closer to Alethea. “Drink. And take a deep breath. Now that we’ve gotten to what is really bothering you.”
“Oh, Xander’s bothering me.” But Alethea did as Calliope instructed and drank. “When I first got here, he was all about me figuring things out. Now that’s changing, going back to how it was before Talia died. I don’t want that.” She took a deep breath and let it out on a shudder. “I don’t want to go home.”
“For Christmas,” Calliope clarified.
“No.” Alethea’s blue eyes shone with determination. “I don’t want to go home at all. I mean for visits, sure, maybe, and I suppose I can’t get out of Christmas because of Dad, but... I don’t know how to explain it.”
Calliope reached out and covered the young woman’s hands with hers. “Try.” With a gentle push of energy, she broke through the worry and uncertainty, just enough for Alethea to work free of the walls of expectation that had been built around her.
“I’m not who I was before Talia died,” Alethea whispered. “I can’t just go back to school and take classes I don’t care about for a career that doesn’t interest me. Do you know how many times I’ve changed majors? I finally settled on prelaw because it seemed easiest with Dyna being a lawyer and my talent for arguing.”
Calliope didn’t want to smile at that.
“But that’s not living. And as much as part of me wants to just crawl into a hole, I need to live. Not just for me, for Talia too. I need to find what’s really me.”
“What is really you?”
“I’m still working that out, but ever since I got here to Butterfly Harbor, I feel like there are new possibilities, you know? And now...” She took a deep breath. “Jason’s offered me a job. As his sous chef. With all the construction that will be going on with the sanctuary and the tourist business picking up, he’s thinking about getting a food truck for the restaurant. He’s offered it to me to manage, if I want it. I mean, I’ll have to take some business classes and learn that side of things, but I can do that online. He...believes in me. I don’t know that anyone other than Xander ever has before. Though my folks are trying.”
“This is all good, Alethea.” Calliope gave silent thanks for Jason Corwin. He was passing it forward. “If cooking is something you want to do, if it is something you love doing, then you should follow your heart. That is how I started this farm. And I’ve never once regretted that choice. And I don’t think you will, either.”
“Except now I have to tell my family I’m dropping out of college and not going to law school so I can be a cook.” Alethea winced. “Compared to everyone else it just sounds so...ordinary.”
“There is nothing ordinary about following your dreams, wherever they may take you. But it takes courage to do so.” Courage Calliope knew she didn’t possess. Courage she needed to find. And fast. “Just as it will take courage to tell your family. You do not want to look back on your life and have regrets, Alethea. Don’t be one of those people. Talk to Xander. He’ll understand.”
“I’m not so sure.” Alethea drank more of her tea.
This time the doubt and trepidation she saw on Alethea’s face had nothing to do with grief and everything to do with the fear of disappointing a sibling she loved and admired.
“Take it a step at a time. Go home with Xander for Christmas. See your family. Talk with them. Tell them what you’ve told me. If they’re worried about where you will live, you’re welcome to stay with me and Stella until you find a place. We have a spare room available.” And now Calliope had an excuse to bring her grandmother’s old room back to life. “But know that you are the only one you will ever have to answer to. Living your life according to other people’s expectations will never give you what you need. More importantly, it may prevent you from ever getting what you want.”
* * *
XANDER STOOD ON the front porch of the guest cabin and stretched, trying to remember what his spine felt like. He’d lost track of time, and now, as the sun began to set on Friday—what had happened to Thursday?—he could finally breathe again.