Holiday Kisses

“I need you to talk to her again. You need to get her to change her mind. I’ll help her find a new school. I’ll do whatever it takes to solidify her future, but not here. Back home where she’s safe and where she’s needed.”

“Where she will suffocate.” Calliope folded her hands in her lap and sat stone-still. “I will not tell her she’s wrong, Xander. I can’t. Because I don’t believe she is.”

“Why? Because Stella isn’t enough, you want to drag my sister into this magic-butterfly world of yours? It isn’t real, Calliope.”

Calliope took a long breath and as she exhaled, she tried to force out the pain. But it had already lodged, solidly, in her heart. “If you truly believe that then you never understood me at all. I will not interfere with anyone’s free will. Not Stella’s, not Alethea’s and not yours.” She angled her head to look at him. “You’re scared, Xander. You see something possible, something you never thought you could have, but you don’t want it because it messes up your neatly planned life. You’re free to leave anytime. No need to feel guilty about it. I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t go getting into my head!”

“I’m not in your head. I’m in your heart.” Just as he was in hers. Forever.

Xander looked away. “This is about Alethea. This isn’t about us.”

“Isn’t it? Your sister has made a very mature decision to take charge of her life. And yet here you stand, railing against me because you think I’ve influenced her. Maybe I have. I will accept that with pride because she’s an exceptional young woman and one I’m proud to call my friend. But do not think because I fell in love with you that gives you the right to dictate my behavior in any way. I am who I am, Xander Costas. I’m who I always was, and who I will always be.”

“What?” He took a step back. “You can’t be in love with me. I’ve only been here...”

“I fell in love with you long before you arrived. Long before I ever knew your name.” She got to her feet and walked past him, unable to bear the confusion and disbelief on his face. “And before you go dismissing my feelings, I’m not asking for you to believe me. I don’t expect or want anything in return you’re not freely willing to give. My feelings are my feelings. This is what it is. Fate delivered you to me and, just as it always does for the women in my family, fate will take you away. I suggest you leave now, before you say something else we’ll both regret.” And can never forget.

“Calliope.” He reached for her arms and turned her to face him. “Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Does my loving you make a difference? Or does it just add to your sense of obligation and responsibility?”

He searched her face, but his confusion only increased, as if he couldn’t find the answer he was looking for. “And if I said I love you, too? What would that mean?”

“Nothing.” It broke her heart to say it, but she couldn’t lie. Not to him. “Because it doesn’t change anything. You have your life and I have mine. And I understand that, Xander. I do.” She touched his face. “I’ve known from the moment you arrived that we’d never be able to make this work. That you’d never stay. I can’t change my feelings for you and I wouldn’t want to. I do love you. But you can’t love me and not understand Alethea’s desire to be free.”

“You’re not one of your butterflies, Calliope. You can go wherever you want. Do whatever you want.”

“And is that what you want? Is that what you expect? For me to leave the only home I’ve ever known, the only home generations of my family have ever known, move Stella to a place that will kill her spirit slower than it would kill me? Why? I don’t belong in your world, Xander. More importantly, I don’t want to. No matter how much we might love each other, this is where I belong.”

“So that’s it? This...you and me, we’re just...done?”

“I’m sorry.” She stared at him, memorizing every feature, every glint in his eyes, every line on his face, because she knew the image of him would be the only thing she’d have for the rest of her life. “But, yes. We are.”