He'd never felt more inadequate for the task before him than he did at this moment. Sure, Fortune magazine had called him and Adam the golden boys of the coffee bean world, "taking a tried and true idea and making it new and fresh."
But fatherhood was different. It involved emotions and all kinds of variables that didn't work in a solid business plan. And emotion was the one thing he'd always felt most uncomfortable with.
He guessed that was partly why he had a son with Larissa. The night of the reunion he'd realized she'd become more than just a smart girl who'd listen to him ramble on about what he wanted to do with his life. And he'd been uncomfortable with all she'd made him feel. Except for the passion she'd evoked in him. Passion was one area he was extremely comfortable with. So he'd seduced her under the stars.
Watching mother and child now kindled a desire for something that he hadn't realized was missing from his life. He wanted to be a part of that golden circle of light. Of that deep bond between mother and son. He wanted to insure that Rissa and Peter could always find a patch of sunlight to sit in. He set his towel and water bottle down on the table and crossed to them.
Not questioning his actions, he sank to the ground behind Larissa and settled himself around her. He left a couple of inches of space because he knew that in spite of his feelings of betrayal, he wasn't above using sex to manipulate her. He wanted her like hell on fire. And if he touched her again, he wasn't going to be able to control himself.
He put his hands over Larissa's and felt her stiffen. Peter's small hand moved to rest on his wrist and Jake felt something close to peace for the first time since he'd been old enough to know that he was a Danforth.
He liked the sound his deep voice made added to Larissa's soft tone and Peter's childish one.
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep."
They finished the poem together and Peter leaned around his mother to watch him with wide questioning eyes.
"How did you know the words?" Peter asked.
"Your mom taught them to me," he said, softly. The boy continued to watch him with a focus that was unnerving.
Peter broke into a wide grin and said, "Cool." The boy hopped to his feet and ran across the yard toward the ball.
Jake turned his head a quarter and met Larissa's clear blue gaze. For a moment they were back in the uncomplicated days of college. Life was just about doing what felt right and making each moment count. Victoria had still been safely at home, and he hadn't yet fathered a child. But times had changed and Victoria was gone—disappeared at a concert so long ago. And though everyone warned them she was dead and would never return, Jake's family kept hope alive.
Larissa smiled at him and his groin tingled. She was so close that her scent filled his nostrils with each breath.
"I did, didn't I?" She licked her lips nervously and he leaned closer to her. Her mouth had always fascinated him. Her lower lip was fuller than the top and he knew from that one brief night how sumptuous her mouth would feel under his own.
He leaned farther toward her, but Peter used his wrist for balance as he stood and then raced across the yard to the soccer ball.
"Yes, you did," he said to Larissa.
"That seems like so long ago."
"It was a different life," he said.
Peter kicked the ball over to them with more energy than skill. Jake had always been very good at soccer and his son showed … none of Jake's aptitude.
"Where'd you go before?" Peter asked, coming over to them.
"To my workout room. I needed to clear my head."
"Is it clear now?"
"Almost," Jake said, ruffling his son's hair.
He stood and helped Larissa to her feet. He still wanted to know why she hadn't told him she was having his child, but he'd save that conversation for later when they were alone. Right now they needed to figure out what to do next.
But Peter was watching him and he didn't want to have an uncomfortable conversation in front of the boy. "Let me show you how to kick the ball like the pros do."
"What's a pro?" Peter asked.
"A professional player. You know someone who gets paid to play the game."
"You can get paid to play?" Peter asked.
"Only if you're really good."
Jake showed his son a few basic kicks and then got out his practice goal net and left his son playing.
Larissa had returned to her lounge chair and watched him warily as he walked toward her. He didn't like the look on her face. He didn't like it at all.
* * *
Larissa tried not to stare as Jake walked over to her, but she couldn't help it. Sweat glistened on his neck and she knew that if she got close to him, he would smell earthy. She wanted to indulge herself in him once more. But he needed answers and she'd come here this morning intent on giving them to him.