Always Enough (Meet Me in Montana 2)

She threw up her hands and let out a frustrated scream, causing me to take a step away from her. If I wasn’t careful, she might start swinging.

“It got stuck, that’s all. If you’d given me a minute and let me think, instead of trying to do it for me, I would’ve gotten it. I’ve managed to do plenty on my own, and I don’t need . . . I don’t need . . .”

I smirked, and I had no idea why. But I couldn’t stop myself from poking her a little more. “You don’t need what, Miss Independent?”

Tears filled her eyes, and I instantly felt like a dick. A big fucking dick who needed to have his ass kicked.

“I don’t need you. I can do this if you would just have faith in me, John! Why can’t you just believe in us!” She shook her head. “I mean, in me! Why can’t you just believe in me?”

She turned around and wrapped her arms around her body, clearly trying to keep from crying. Then she started to breathe, deeply. One deep breath in, one long one out. I knew that technique all too well. She was trying to keep herself from losing her shit. It was something I had done a number of times after the accident. My physical therapist was all about breathing techniques to calm yourself down and to relax the mind.

I slowly walked up to her and put my hands on her shoulders. Her body tensed. After turning her to face me, I placed my finger under her chin and lifted her face to meet my gaze. There were so many things I wanted to say to her. How much she meant to me. How much I wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her everything was okay.

But how could I, when my own mind was filled with so many doubts?

“I have faith in you, Kaylee. Please don’t ever doubt that.”

She was one of the strongest women I’d ever met. The fact that she’d picked up and left her family to start a new life in Montana alone showed what an incredible woman she was. A single tear slipped free and made a slow trail down her cheek. It killed me to see her cry. I didn’t like knowing I was the cause of that tear.

This was why she was better off without me. She deserved someone who didn’t make her cry or piss her off.

Another tear fell, and I used the pad of my thumb to wipe it away.

Kaylee licked her lips and gazed up at me like all I had to do was kiss her and everything would be all right. And it would, for a little while. We’d forget all the shit in the world for a little bit. Get lost in each other. Then reality would set in. She’d see the side of me that no one ever saw, that no one knew. The side that hid all the pain and hurt. The doubt and loneliness.

If I showed her that side of me, what would she do?

I wasn’t about to open myself up for more hurt to find that answer.

“I’ll go ahead and go. I’m sorry I upset you.”

Before I took a few steps back, I kissed her forehead and turned to leave, but I stopped and looked at her once more and said, “I’m not John.”

She sucked in a breath and took a step away from me. “Wh-what?”

“You called me John.”

“I . . . I didn’t mean . . . I didn’t mean to call you that.”

With a nod, I turned and headed out of her room and down the stairs.

When I reached for the front door, her voice stopped me.

“Wait. Don’t go.”

I closed my eyes. I knew if I stayed, and she asked me to do anything, I’d do it. Whatever she asked, I’d fall at her feet and beg her to let me in. And with the way she had been looking at me a few moments ago, I knew what she would be asking.

Her hand gently lay over mine on the doorknob, causing me to open my eyes and look down at her.

“I’m asking you to stay.”

“Why?” My voice was rough and broken sounding.

“Because I need you, Ty.”

I shook my head. “No, you don’t need someone like me, Kaylee. I’m pretty fucked up.”

Her teeth dug into her lower lip as she looked down at the floor and then back up at me. Her eyes were filled with the same heat as that night at the Blue Moose. I’d almost taken her that night, but the searing kiss she’d given me had pulled me out of the haze this woman seemed to be able to put me in. It made me realize that Kaylee had the power to completely destroy me if she wanted to. I couldn’t think around her, and I needed to have a clear head.