It wasn’t like I didn’t love Kaci. I did. And I knew she loved me; why else would she have picked me? But I also knew how much Dirk loved her. He had a terrible way of showing her, though, and in the end, it cost him. I knew how to be romantic, while Dirk fumbled with his words. At least he had back then. Kaci only saw that side of me. The side that fantasized right along with her about the life we would have.
Something had always been missing between me and Kaci, though. It didn’t take us long after we got married to realize it. An emptiness hung between us, and neither of us could figure out what was causing it. We’d thought we could make it better by having a baby. It hadn’t helped that I ignored one of the main reasons we were having troubles. Bull riding. It wasn’t something I was willing to give up for her. At the time, I hadn’t realized how selfish that made me. Bull riding was my life, and in my mind, Kaci had known it was my life when we got married.
But Dirk was ready to give up professional bull riding for her, and I knew now he probably would have made her happier than I ever could.
A part of me would always regret that I didn’t love her enough to put her first, like Dirk would have. The guilt of that ate at me constantly. Dirk never showed any bitterness toward me or Kaci, and I knew it was because he’d respected her decision. He was the true meaning of loyalty and friendship.
I glanced over to him. He seemed lost in thought, just like I was. I’d bet a million dollars he was thinking about her too.
I’d hurt Dirk not only once, but twice. Our friendship had been tested by one simple decision I’d made five years ago. A decision that had been haunting my dreams nightly since. Had our small town whispering behind my back, even to this day.
“You boys ready to kick some ass tonight?” Lloyd Webster asked, stopping directly in front of us.
I forced a smile for one of my biggest sponsors. If I rode well tonight, I’d make him one very happy man. It would show up in my wallet as well. An endorsement with Wrangler was nothing to take lightly. As long as I stayed number one on the tour, I was golden.
“Yes, sir,” I answered, pushing my hand out to shake his.
“That’s what I want to hear. Let’s keep that number one ranking, son.”
Lloyd focused on Dirk. “I have a feeling your run of bad luck ends tonight in Tacoma, Dirk.”
“Let’s hope so.”
“You drew a good one,” Lloyd added, giving Dirk a wink.
A smile grew over Dirk’s face. He’d drawn Lucky Charm. He hadn’t been ridden in his last ten outs.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I reached in and answered without even looking. “Hello?”
“So, you never did tell me who day two’s draw was.”
Ty. I should have known.
My brother used to go on tour with me a few years back until an accident landed him in the hospital for an extended amount of time. When they told him he’d never be able to ride a bull again, you might as well have told him he’d died that day. His entire world came to an abrupt stop.
The doctors at first hadn’t thought Ty would even walk again. He proved them wrong. He walked after just one month in physical therapy. That one victory came at a cost, though. Ty hit the bottle for months and then suffered with an addiction to pain pills that few knew about.
It gutted me when I’d realized I hadn’t seen the signs. That none of us had seen the signs. When our parents found out, they got him the help he needed, but it was a long road for all of us. After a tenuous few months, Ty had cleaned up, and he worked the family cattle ranch now. I was so damn proud of my brother. I knew it had to be hard for him to fight that addiction, and I also knew it was always something he would struggle with in the back of his mind. No matter what, I’d be there for him.
“Well?”
Ty pulled me back to the present.
“I got Hornet’s Nest.”
The bastard laughed. “Oh, hell. Don’t let him throw you after the first two seconds.”
I ignored his jab at me, since I was already frustrated with him for telling Blayze he’d teach him to rope. “That’s the plan,” I said. “You tell Blayze you’d teach him to rope?” I knew he could hear the frustration in my voice.
“I might have mentioned it.”
“Why would you do that, Ty? I’m going to teach him when I come home.”