I stumbled back into a chair and buried my face in my hands.
My wife died, and the last thing I did was pick a bull over her and our baby.
Dirk lost it and started screaming at me, saying it was my fault that she’d died, that the stress of the labor and me not being there had caused her to die.
It wasn’t true, but in that moment, I knew I would carry that sentence with me for the rest of my life. Those words would be my scarlet letter—my self-inflicted punishment for not being the husband my wife needed me to be.
That night, I’d vowed to never let another woman into my heart again. And, besides the occasional one-night stand, I had kept that vow.
That is, until I had seen Lincoln Pratt.
As I stared at the little white house, hope bloomed once again in my chest. It had been so many years since I’d felt it. Since I’d allowed myself to think I deserved love again. All because of Lincoln. Even though I was scared as hell, I dared to believe that I might be getting a second chance.
Chapter Fourteen
BROCK
“You invited her to Billings?” Dirk asked, looking at me like I had grown five heads.
“Yes.”
His eyes were wide. “Lincoln?”
I nodded.
He smiled slightly. “Holy shit, you like her. You really like this girl.”
With a shrug, I threw my duffel bag and rigging bag into the bed of the truck. Blayze, Lincoln, Kaylee, and I were driving to Billings in Ty’s truck. I normally flew back to wherever the tour was, but with it being so close to home, this would give me more time with Blayze. And Lincoln.
“I can’t believe it. I mean, dude, this is huge. How do you feel about her?”
Stopping, I turned to face him. “I like her—a lot. That scares the shit out of me.”
His eyes looked sad as he placed his hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “I can’t pretend to know what all was going on with you and Kaci at the end, but I know she loved you, and you loved her.”
Shaking my head, I sighed. “I should have stepped aside for you to have a chance with her.”
“If you had stepped to the side, I would have thought for the rest of my life that I’d been her second choice. That she had loved you more than me. Dude, either way, we both got hurt. It’s time to leave it in the past, Brock. For both of us.”
We looked at one another, neither of us saying a word for a few moments.
“I know I’ve told you this before, but I never meant what I said that day at the hospital. I was angry. I know you regret making that decision, and dude, it’s time to forgive yourself and let it go. Even if you hadn’t ridden, the same outcome would have happened.”
I didn’t respond to him as I looked out over the mountains. I knew he was right, about everything.
The screen door to my folks’ place slammed shut. Dirk and I both turned to see Ty walking down the steps. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days.
“You feeling okay?” I asked as he tossed his bag into the back of the truck.
“Yeah, my leg is giving me some trouble, but it’s all good.”
Dirk and I glanced at each other.
“You don’t have to go if the drive is going to bother you.”
Ty laughed. “Nah, I took something. I’m good.”
“And you’re going to drive? With my son in the car? I don’t think so.”
The look on my brother’s face spoke volumes. He wanted to bitch me out, but he kept it in. “I took Advil, you dick.”
I felt like a complete jackass for assuming he’d taken something stronger.
“Blayze, are you sure you don’t want to ride with us?” my mother called out to my son as he came barreling out of the house and straight to me.
“Hey, Uncle Dirk! You riding with us?” Blayze asked, trying to toss his bag into the back of the truck like the big boys did.
“Nah, buddy. I’m riding in with my folks.”
Blayze nodded, his ten-gallon black Stetson cowboy hat falling just a bit when he did.
I adjusted it and said, “Where did you get this, buddy?”
A wide smile moved over his face. “Uncle Ty gave it to me! Said it was your first hat you ever wore when you were a little boy.”
My eyes lifted to Ty.
He stood there, smirking. With a shrug, he said, “Mama had them all saved, and I came across it in the attic the other day. Your name and age were written on the hatbox. Figured you’d want the mini version of you to have it.”
I stared at my brother while a tightness in my chest caused my voice to stall in my throat. I smiled and shook my head in disbelief. “Thank you, Ty,” I said.