She heard the relief in her mom’s voice and felt as if her family was going to be okay, like they’d weathered a storm.
“You two okay?” Dave asked.
“Yes,” her mother said. “How about you? It’s been one crazy day.”
“I’m fine, Mom. Annie?”
“I feel strung out. I’m almost afraid to believe the doctor.”
Dave rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. “Yeah, me too. Listen, I’ve got to take a break.”
Annie stood and walked her brother out into the hall. “Go ahead. I’ll stay here with Mom.”
There were lines of strain around Dave’s eyes and he kept rubbing the back of his neck as if he had a lot of tension there. She worried about her brother. Worried about the stress of the new season, the crash and now this.
“You okay?”
“I’m fine, Annie,” he said and walked away.
DAVE WAS STILL RUBBING the back of his neck as he walked outside. He reached in his pocket for the pack of cigarettes that he wasn’t supposed to be carrying around anymore. But he needed one. The night had been endless.
He palmed his lighter and lit the cigarette sinking deeper into the shadows, hoping that the nicotine would help him numb out a little, but knowing it wouldn’t be enough.
He wished like hell he could do this day over. Go back to the race and win the sucker instead of crashing so quickly. Then he could have won Daytona and maybe his dad wouldn’t have been so stressed that he’d had a heart attack.
He took another long drag on the cigarette. He wanted the NASCAR championship more than ever. He wanted it this year so that his dad could see him win. And he needed to get his head in the game. Start thinking about winning instead of letting Tucker Aldridge distract him.
“Can I get a light?” Carl Winnly asked as he approached him.
Dave tossed the lighter to the reporter and leaned back against the cold stone wall of the hospital.
“What a day,” Carl said.
“Off the record?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s been a bitch.”
Carl laughed. “A lot of owners and drivers stopped by the waiting room tonight.”
Dave knew that. He’d been out to talk with them at different times. One of the things he liked best about NASCAR was the close-knit community. To be fair it was also one of the things he didn’t like about the community?there were no secrets in NASCAR.
“I was surprised to see someone from MacNeil Racing here,” Carl said.
Dave knew the reporter was fishing for something he could print. And tonight Dave was tempted to say something he’d live to regret. Instead he shrugged.
“Jared’s an okay guy,” Dave said, even though he doubted it. God, that man was…hell, he had no idea, he just hoped that his sister knew what she was doing.
He dropped the cigarette on the ground, stubbed it out with the toe of his boot and walked back into the hospital. His relatives were starting to disperse and he hugged everyone and told them he’d call as soon as they heard anything else. Uncle Steve was going home for a few hours’ rest and would be back later in the morning. Soon it was just Annie, Mom and him.
He sat down between the two of them, putting his arms around their shoulder.
“Finally, some quiet,” Annie said.
The Jenners were a big crowd. His dad was one of four boys. Dave had fifteen first cousins on his dad’s side. And since they were in Daytona, his mom’s cousins, the Daltrys, had come as well. They lived in Deltona, only an hour away. All totaled Dave thought they’d had close to twenty people in the waiting room.
“It was nice to have them here. To have their support,” his mother said.
“Yes, it was,” Dave agreed.
Silence fell between them. He could only guess at what was going on in his sister’s and mother’s heads. His own was filled with endless regrets and possibilities. The things he hadn’t said to his father that he wanted to say.
He didn’t like the ache that was still near his heart. Couldn’t close his eyes and rest despite the fact that Annie did and his mom pretended to.
He wanted his father out of that bed and wrapping all of them in his arms. Brandon Jenner was a legend. Bigger than life and invincible, he thought. And he wanted his dad to wake up and cast that long shadow he always had. The one that Dave knew he was lost in.
But tonight had made all those feelings seem insignificant. He was almost ashamed of how many times he wished that he wasn’t his father’s son, thinking stupidly that life would somehow be easier.
Tonight he’d realized that life wouldn’t be easier without Brandon Jenner as his father. Life would be stark without his father there. And he thought maybe he needed this to happen to make him understand that wanting the NASCAR NEXTEL Cup Championship and needing to be his own legend weren’t the same thing.