She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He noticed that her nails were trimmed from the last time he’d seen her. “No, I’m not. I don’t think you are, either.”
“I’m pretty sure of what I want.” He’d never wanted anyone or anything as much as he wanted Annie. He was afraid he was pushing too hard and she’d see instead of a man worthy of her time and affection, a man who was desperate. But it wasn’t just that he wanted her in his house. He wanted the warmth that she brought into his daily life.
“Why now?”
Jared knew he should just stop the conversation now. He knew that she was going to ask him for something he couldn’t give her. And he wasn’t ready for that now. But he wasn’t above revealing what he’d felt. “These last few weeks apart made me focus on what I really wanted from you. And I wanted you with me.”
“I want that, too. Why can’t we just continue as we have been until Homestead and then…”
“Then, what?”
“Then ask me again at the end of the season when all the craziness in our lives has died down.”
He had a thought that wasn’t too nice and he tried to censor it, but it came out before he could. “Will your answer have anything to do with whether your brother wins the championship or not?”
ANNIE WANTED TO WALK away from Jared. His question was offensive. But the truth was, his question hit close to home. And she was done with running. She had made this her year to stop running and start living her life.
And Jared had made her feel more alive than anyone else had in a long time. She reached for him, but he kept the space between them.
“It’s not that I care who wins, it’s just that it will actually be so much easier for us to move in together when the season is over and we both have less going on.”
He refused to look at her. “I’m not going to be any less busy and neither will you. We’re both doing our jobs now while we travel with Tucker and Dave. Life isn’t going to be any less complicated than it is right now. But fair enough,” he said.
His capitulation should have made it easier for her to accept her own decision. Had she made the right choice or was it only her old fears talking?
“I’m sorry,” she said, but knew that the words were too little too late.
“It’s okay,” he said, but she knew it wasn’t.
She’d pushed for him to open up to her and when he had…she wasn’t shutting him down but she couldn’t see really living together.
There was an undertone in his voice that made her realize that he was a little angry over her answer. “Jared, my first marriage was a whirlwind romance. I knew Malcolm less than six weeks before we were married. I don’t want to make the same mistake again.”
“What mistake?”
She took a deep breath, so tempted to hedge or lie. But in the end she knew she’d only be cheating herself and refused to do that. “Believing that romance and fantasy can survive in real life.”
He stared down at her and she could tell that he was listening to her.
“I’m not romancing you,” he said.
“I know that. I need to make sure that I’m the right woman for you and you’re the right man for me. Does that make sense?”
He cupped her face in both of his hands and kissed her so sweetly she wanted to cry. There was so much in that kiss that it almost scared her.
“I understand. Your family hasn’t fully accepted me yet and that’s got to weigh on your mind.”
“My family will come around, but even if they don’t, I’m not going to let them keep me from a man I want. I just need more time.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“DAVE, GOT A MINUTE?”
Dave was surprised to see his old friend Rob Mandelay in the garage area on Thursday when he was getting ready to do a few practice laps.
“Hey, man. Good to see you. What’s up?” Annie had mentioned she’d seen Rob in Tucker’s pit, but he hadn’t gone into enemy territory to find him.
“Do you have any openings on your team?”
“Not right now. I’ll talk to Vinnie later and see if he knows of anyone who has one. Aren’t you happy working with Aldridge and Toughton?”
“They’re cool and all, but I’m only the catch can man and I’d like to move up.”
“Jenner, we need you,” Vinnie yelled from the bay.
“I’ve got to run, we’re getting the car ready for inspections, but I’ll find some time for us to chat later.”
He waved over his assistant, Melissa. “Mel, this is Rob Mandelay, as old friend of mine. Will you find some time on the schedule for us to chat this weekend.”