I need the pain. The control. I need him.
My eyes roll back from the frantic need building inside me as he slams into me over and over again.
A wave begins to grow inside me. “Betatee,” he growls again, and I’m not sure if it’s the way he moves inside me or how he says the words I don’t even know, but I fall and crash, spiraling over the edge to oblivion.
He must find his release too because as I return to Earth from my haze, I notice the warmth inside me, and he’s stopped moving.
Together, we catch our breaths.
Slowly, he pulls out of me. “I won’t let him take you from me.”
I straighten my pants.
“I’ll protect you.” Relying on him isn’t easy for me. I’ve learned over the years that I can’t rely on anyone. “Trust me. I will protect you.”
I’m not sure he will. I’m not sure anyone can.
40
Cyrus
I took her like an animal against a tree.
I don’t know what the fuck got into me. Normally, I’m more reserved and don’t show my emotions like that. But her doubt made me see red, and all I wanted to do is mark her as my own.
I couldn’t control myself. This girl has gotten to me in a way I never predicted or anticipated. I’m not sure how I feel about it. Maybe it’s time to go back to my estate and distance myself from her.
Right now, we lie in bed together. We haven’t spoken since what happened outside. I’m sure she has a lot to process after what I told her.
The silence stretches around us. It’s not unwelcome. I have a lot to think about too.
Last I heard, Boris has gone underground. If I can’t find him, I’m not sure how I can accomplish my goal. There has to be a way to draw him out.
“Why?” she asks.
I turn toward her. She’s watching me with wide eyes that are red from unshed tears. I can’t imagine it’s easy to hear that your father has sold you.
No. I know it’s not.
“It’s time to tell me why you took me.”
“Isn’t it obvious?” I respond, arching a brow.
“Not to me. You run a poker game, an illegal one. It doesn’t seem like you care who plays, so why this? Why me?”
“I saw you . . .” My eyes close on their own accord as I try to remember exactly what went through my head when I did. Why did I take her? It was more than her looks; it was the energy that wafted off her. “Trent asked me to help you.”
She sits up from where we are lying and tilts her head in question.
“There has to be more.”
She’s right; there was. But the idea of saying it tastes bitter on my tongue. It’s so far from what I’m feeling now. The fact I even thought it at any point doesn’t sit well with me. Ivy Aldridge will never be a means to an end.
Still searching her eyes, I remember the feeling that spread through my chest. That’s the real reason, but at the time, I wouldn’t admit it. But here and now, with the future so uncertain, I decide to be honest about at least one thing.
“When I finally looked at you, so serene and beautiful, I couldn’t fathom a world where you didn’t exist. So, I took you.”
“But—”
I lift my hand, stopping her. I never thought I would do this, but with her, I find I want to. Looking into her blue eyes, I find myself speaking.
“Let me tell you a story.”
“Okay.”
“There once was a man and a woman. They were very happy and fell madly in love. This man and woman loved each other so much that they decided to have a baby. They loved the baby and for years tried to have another. Years passed, but it didn’t seem like that was in the cards. The man had given up. He was happy, but the woman was desperate. She wanted a son. A son to look like the man she loved. And one day she grew pregnant . . .” My throat feels like it is closing as I push down the emotions swirling inside me. I haven’t spoken of this ever, and I find that it’s harder to get the words out than I thought.
With a cough, I continue. “When the baby was to come, there was a complication. The mother finally had her son, but as she held him, she took her last breath. The man always resented the boy. He was angry and sad, and started to drink and gamble. After he lost his job, he became even angrier and turned to crime.
“Luckily for the boy, the sister was there to raise him. The father became a criminal, dealing drugs, but often, he did more than he sold. He took loans and owed a Russian billionaire hundreds of thousands of dollars.