Late Night Kisses

“I agree with that latter statement one hundred percent.”

“Well, then.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “If that’s how you feel, I would like for you to stop talking to me, if you’re not serious about helping me find my baby.”

I shut my notepad and stepped back. “I’m done for the day, ladies and gentlemen. Officer Harlow, ride back to the station with one of your associates.”

“Wait.” She called after me. “You don’t want to help us find the dog?”

“No, I want to find my relocation request papers …”

“DOUBLE THE TROUBLE” VANILLA CUPCAKES

1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter

1 ½ cups sugar

1 ¼ cups milk

¼ teaspoon salt

2 eggs

2 ½ teaspoons baking powder

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

2 ½ cups flour

NATHAN

DAYS AFTER I ENDED my latest shift, and hours after being forced to sign off on a new “Cedar Falls’ Pets are Part of Our Family” policy, I stared at an updated relocation form. No matter how many times I filled it out, there were two questions that prevented me from turning it in.

1. Have you ever been seriously injured during your career in law enforcement? (Please provide details)

2. Did you finish completing the required psychological evaluations (past the mandatory minimum)?

My answers were, 1. Yes, twice. Shot in my chest during an armed robbery the first time. Shot again six months later in my stomach during a “payback” ambush. 2. Hell no.

I knew those answers all but guaranteed an extended stay in Cedar Falls, and deep down, a part of me actually believed that was for the best. A very small, insignificant part.

“So, are you planning to say anything to me?” The brunette sitting across from me blushed, knocking me out of my thoughts. Her intrusion reminded me that we were sitting in the middle of a restaurant, courtesy of a blind date.

“I mean, I’m totally fine staring at you for the rest of tonight, since you’re sexy as hell,” she said, blushing. “But there must be something on your mind, something the two of us can talk about?”

She twirled her tongue around a thick milk-shake straw a few times and winked. “Anything?”

Hmmm …

I smiled and looked at my watch. 9:08.

Like usual, my phone buzzed in my pocket and I pretended to answer it, saying the same fake lines I’d said on these dates ever so often.

“Well, can you make it quick?” I always struggled to keep a straight face as I spoke. “I told you I had a date with someone really special tonight and I’ve already spent the first part of my date wondering if you’d call me with these details.”

The woman swooned over this staged performance—as usual, and then I ended the call.

“Give me a few minutes,” I said, standing to my feet. “I need to step outside to finalize this call, but I guarantee when I get back that I’ll be a lot more talkative.”

“I hope so.” She lowered her voice. “After we get acquainted, I’d love to show you my favorite way to use my mouth.”

I stared at her, contemplated whether I wanted to stay put or not, but this date wasn’t mine. It belonged to someone else.

“I’ll be right back,” I said, leaving the table and heading for the side exit. I walked to the alley, and there, as usual, was my twin brother, Tristan.

“So?” he asked. “What’s the assessment?”

“Brunette with green eyes, curves in all the right places, and wants to show you a few things she can do with her mouth.”

“She sounds absolutely perfect.” He smiled. “Thanks for vetting another one for me.”

“You could always vet them yourself and cut the date short if you’re not attracted to them.”

“I could, but then you wouldn’t have a social life. I do this for you.”

“Right …” I rolled my eyes as we switched coats. “You know that you won’t be able to get away with this for too much longer, right?”

“Why not?”

“Two reasons. One, I’m finally going to be introduced as the new deputy via the town paper in a few weeks. In my interview, I specifically say that I have a twin brother who lives here. Two, this is my last time doing this shit for you.” My brother was the only reason I’d taken a job in this town in the first place, and he was the only one of us who was happy about it.

“Fair enough.” He laughed. “How was your shift today?”

“Thrilling. I have no idea how I’ll ever get a good night’s sleep here. I mean, between all the nothingness that goes on, I’m pretty exhausted.”

“So, you’d prefer getting shot?”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“That’s what it sounds like.” He motioned for me to swap watches with him. “I know why you’re not enjoying this place as much as the other cities. When’s the last time you got laid? Six years ago?”

“Six months ago.”

“Same thing.” He shook his head. “A couple rounds of random sex with a stranger is all it’ll take for you to see that Cedar Falls is actually the best place to be, and then you’ll appreciate your easy workload. There are so many new tourists from week to week, that it’s practically a buffet of easy lays. You know what else?”