I leaned against the wall and tuned out his words. Sometimes I had to remind myself that I was only twenty seconds older than him and not twenty years. In my previous cities, I’d been just as reckless as he was, jumping from one night stand to one night stand, focused on only sex and work. And although that was still appealing as hell, most of the women I’d met in this town so far were taken. I also didn’t think they’d take too kindly to their new deputy fucking his way through as many women as possible.
I think I may need something different this time around …
“Are you listening to me, Nathan?” Tristan said.
“Not at all.”
“Here.” He laughed as he handed me a business card. “Go there tomorrow and tell them you’re interested in trying their blind dating services.”
I flipped the card over and blinked in confusion.
The Blind Eye Dating Service
Personalized & Serious Matches Guaranteed!
“DON’T WORRY,” HE SAID. “Most of the women I’ve met don’t really want anything serious, especially since I made sure to answer all of those annoying survey questions honestly. Ninety five percent of the time, we talk for a few minutes over a drink or two, have sex, and go our separate ways.”
“Noted.” I checked the time. “Anything else?”
“Actually, yes. I need you to do me one last favor.” He pulled a small, sealed red envelope from his coat pocket. “The Wish Tree is in the building next door to the agency, so can you turn this in for me when you go?”
“I’m sorry, the what?”
“The Wish Tree.” He suddenly looked sheepish. “Don’t judge me.”
“Too late. What the hell is The Wish Tree?”
“It’s a Cedar Falls thing.” He tried to appear nonchalant, but he was failing miserably. He looked like he was a twelve-year old boy all over again.
“It’s a holiday tradition for all the residents,” he said. “Everyone seals their top ten wishes inside a glass ornament, and then they hang it wherever they want on the big tree. Right before Christmas, the billionaire heirs who built the town pick ten, ten thousand dollar winners who also get a free week at the top resort here. Everyone else gets a smaller prize for participating, and we also get to keep whatever glass ornament we placed the wish into, since that alone is worth a hundred dollars. I’ve heard good things about it.”
I crossed my arms. “You’re a multi-millionaire and you already own one of the top resorts here. Why do you need to participate in something like this?”
“Because it’s about winning and fucking holiday cheer,” he said. “Hell, you should do it and wish for the stick to be removed from your ass.”
I laughed. “I’ll pass, but I’ll hang yours.”
“Appreciate it.” He moved toward the side door. “Thanks again for stepping in for me.”
“You’re not welcome.”
Through the windows, I watched him return to his “blind” date, watched them talk for all of three minutes, and suddenly they were both standing and heading for the door.
Interesting …
“DON’T PLAY GAMES” CHESS CAKE
2 ½ cups yellow cake mix
½ cup margarine
4 medium eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
8 ounces cream cheese
2 cups confectioners’ sugar
NATHAN
SUBJECT: INSUFFICIENT Survey Answers
Dear Mr. Benson,
We are writing to inform you that we have received your initial survey results for our Blind Eye Dating Service. Unfortunately, we cannot pair you with any potential matches until you answer all three hundred personality questions with well-thought-out answers.
Although we appreciate you submitting a picture of yourself with your application, it’s not necessary, as this is blind dating.
For your reference, we are attaching a one-page file with an example of how some of our former clients answered their questions. We are also copying and pasting a few of your previously submitted answers below, so you can know that these will not be accepted.
Best Wishes & Thank you for using Blind Eye Dating!
**YOUR ANSWERS TO OUR Questions That We Will Not Accept**
1. Why do you think a woman would be attracted to you?
Your Answer: Look at my picture.
2. Have you ever been turned down after asking a woman on a date in person? (Please tell us why.)
Your Answer: No. Look at my picture.
3. If you had to sum up your best qualities in four words, what would you say?
Your answer: Look at my picture.
“PLEASE STRANGLE THIS COCKY BASTARD” PIE
4 cups chopped rhubarb
1 1/3 cups white sugar
6 teaspoons all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon butter
1 double crusted pie
CHRISTINA
SUBJECT: YOUR MATCH & Blind Date Location
Dear Christina,
We are pleased to inform you that you and your upcoming match are the first perfect pair in Blind Eye Dating Service history! Provided that you have answered our personality questionnaire with complete honesty, you and your match have a 99.9% chance of sparking a great friendship and/or romantic acquaintanceship.
Per your submitted availability, your meet time and location are below.
Starry Nights Café
Sunday @ 7:30 p.m.