Late Night Kisses

“You’re wearing a wedding ring right now.”

“My husband doesn’t have to know about us.” She looked into my eyes. “It can be our little secret. What do you say?”

Silence.

I pulled my hand away and put a twenty-dollar bill on the table. “Thank you for the coffee.” I stood to my feet and walked to the exit before she could say anything else.

I slipped behind the wheel of my car—half pissed, half aroused, and thought long and hard about what my next move with Christina needed to be.

I’d spent all week reading romance novels for a better insight on what to do after we finished our coffee at the café. I’d read my way through hundreds of pages of “throbbing members” and “hard, wet cocks” to come up with a way to create a perfect night.

No point in keeping those reservations now.

Clenching my jaw, I called two other restaurants, a winery, and a private town car company to cancel everything.

I thought back to Christina saying she would “consider” coming. How the blush on her cheeks kept appearing every few seconds, how she definitely noticed my cock hardening in my pants when we were standing in front of her car.

There was no point in her denying that she was as attracted to me, as I was to her, and I was definitely going to get her back for this shit.

I immediately called my brother.

“I’m only talking to you if you’ve come to your senses,” he answered on the first ring.

“I want you to tell me everything you’ve heard or know about Christina Ryan and Sifted Perfection,” I said. “I also need your help with something illegal tonight.”

“On a scale of one to ten, with ten being the highest, how worried should I be about what you have planned?”

“Zero,” I said, smiling. “There’s only one person who needs to be worried.”

PEANUT BUTTER “PAYBACK” PIE

½ cup confectioners’ sugar

16 ounce (thawed) whipped topping

16 chocolate covered peanut butter cups

½ cup peanut butter

8 ounces softened cream cheese

1 graham cracker crust

CHRISTINA

IF THERE WAS EVER AN exact moment in my life that made me want to stab out my eyeballs, I was sure that right now more than qualified.

“You sure you don’t want to touch them and see for yourself?” My final blind date for the week, Carlton, ran his hand through his hair. “It’s nature at work, and you get to experience it firsthand.”

“I’m sure,” I said, shuddering. “I don’t want to touch your bunnies.” I stared at the poor, dirty-coated rabbits he’d brought along in a glass case. They’d spent the past fifteen minutes humping each other, making every patron in the bar shoot embarrassed glances in my direction.

“I’m sure you’ll warm up to them eventually,” he said. “Now that you’ve seen my parrot, snakes, and gerbils, I guess I’ll return these guys to my condo upstairs. I’ll be back in a few seconds.” He carried the glass away from the table, and I knocked back a much-needed glass of gin and tonic.

How the hell our once promising date had devolved from him picking me up with fresh flowers, with great conversation about how he also loved baking, to bringing me to his condo’s café and showing off his fucking animals (no pun intended) was beyond me.

As if those things weren’t awkward enough, he didn’t seem to understand my brand of sarcasm, and he’d managed to make every topic about his ex-girlfriend, who he was “totally, one hundred percent over.” He also had a strange way of inserting cringe-worthy innuendoes whenever we encountered a few seconds of silence. (“I promise I’m not this silent in bed—my ex-girlfriend can totally attest to it,” “Can you hear that? It’s the sound of our bodies quietly aligning for what’s to come later,” and “The only reason we’re not talking right now is because I’m sure we’re both thinking about all the things we want to do later. I bet there are a lot of things.”)

I didn’t want to admit it, but I regretted standing Nathan up the other night. Images of his perfectly chiseled face invaded my thoughts all week, and no matter how many “No Seconds Allowed” Crumb Cakes I made, I couldn’t stop fantasizing about him burying his head between my thighs. Couldn’t stop pressing my vibrator against my clit in the middle of the night as I imagined him owning my body with his cock.

“What are you smiling about?” Carlton returned to the table. “Missing me already?”

“Um …” I shook away the thought of Nathan bending me over a kitchen counter. “I was just thinking about work.”

“Sure, you were.” He winked at me. “Anyway, sorry if I took a little too much time to show off my friends. I figured I should be upfront about my love for animals. Let’s talk about what’s really important now. You.”

“Sure.” I vowed to get up and leave within the next half hour. “What do you want to know?”