He took a step toward her. “Fin?”
She gave herself a mental shake. What was wrong with her? She was Fin Elliott, a fearless executive who could face any challenge set before her and come out the victor. Why was it so hard for her to find the courage to tell the man of her dreams how she felt and what she wanted?
As she stared into his incredible blue eyes, she knew exactly why she was finding it difficult to express herself. Travis was far more important to her than Charisma or the CEO position at EPH had ever been or ever would be.
But when she opened her mouth to tell him so, Travis shook his head. “Before you say a word, I have something to tell you.”
“I have something to say to you, too,” she said, wishing that he would take her in his arms and give her the slightest indication they were in the same place emotionally.
“You can have your say, after I’ve had mine.” He pointed to the couch. “You might want to sit down. I’m not very good at stuff like this and it could take awhile.”
Lowering herself to the leather couch, she held her breath as she waited for him to tell her what was so important to him.
“When Jessie first talked about trying to find you, I was dead set against it.”
Fin felt certain that her heart shattered into a million pieces and she wasn’t entirely sure that she’d be able to draw her next breath for the devastating emotion tightening her chest. “I…didn’t know. Jessie never said how you felt about our meeting.”
“I was dead wrong and she was right not to tell you.” He rubbed the back of his neck as if to ease tension. “You’ve got to understand, Fin. I wasn’t sure you’d be all that receptive to meeting a daughter you gave up for adoption all those years ago. You were extremely young and some women want to forget something like that ever happened to them.” He gave her an unapologetic look. “And from the minute my wife and I adopted Jessie, I dedicated my life to protecting her from anything that would harm her physically or emotionally.”
Fin swallowed hard. Jessie couldn’t have been placed with a better family than the Claytons. And although it had been the hardest thing Fin had ever had to do, Jessie had fared far better having Travis for her father than she would have with Fin raising her alone.
She could understand his reasoning, but it still hurt to think that if Jessie had listened to him, they might never have met. “You were afraid I’d reject her,” Fin whispered brokenly.
He nodded. “I spent many a sleepless night before Jess called to tell me how happy you’d been when she finally told you who she was.”
Tears filled Fin’s eyes. “I loved and wanted her from the moment I discovered I was pregnant.”
“I know that now.” He smiled. “In fact, the first time I laid eyes on you, I knew you were nothing like what I’d feared you would be.”
“Really?” she asked cautiously.
He sat down on the raised stone hearth in front of her. “Instead of a corporate executive with a killer instinct, you were warm, personable and sexier than sin.”
She almost choked. She’d never associated herself with the word sexy. “Me?”
“Honey, you’ve had me turned wrong side out ever since I first laid eyes on you.”
His laughter warmed her, but she tried not to let her hopes build. Sexual attraction was one thing, but he hadn’t mentioned anything about loving her.
“I don’t think there’s ever been a doubt for either of us that we share an irresistible chemistry,” she said, nodding.
“But we’ve had some huge problems from the get-go,” he said, his expression turning serious. “You live in New York and my life is out here in God’s country.
Your career is glamorous and impressive as hell.” He shrugged his wide shoulders. “I’m nothing more than a rancher, leading a simple, uncomplicated life. I couldn’t see anything coming of the attraction between us.”
Her heart sank. Was he trying to tell her all the reasons that a relationship between them wouldn’t work? That he wasn’t even willing to give them a fair chance?
His gaze dropped to his loosely clasped hands hanging between his knees. “Then we put the cart before the horse. We discovered that I’d gotten you pregnant before we’d even really gotten to know each other.”
She swiped at an errant tear as it slid down her cheek. “You see our baby as a problem?”
“Hell no.” There was no hesitation in his adamant answer. “I couldn’t be happier about our having a child together.” He stood up and walked over to where she sat on the couch. “But what I’m not happy about is trying to juggle time and distance in the raising of him.”