When he began to rock them, Mariah enjoyed the friction and urgent pace of their lovemaking. Kissing his lean cheeks, the column of his neck and his collarbone, she moved in unison with him as they raced toward the culmination of the energy building inside both of them.
Feeling her feminine muscles begin to tighten around him, she clung to his shoulders to keep from being lost as she gave in to the elegant tension holding them in its grip. Apparently her release triggered his, and when he thrust into her one final time she felt him shudder as he filled her with his essence.
As they held each other while their bodies slowly drifted back to reality, she suddenly felt him go completely still. “Dammit all to hell!” he swore vehemently.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, alarmed by his obvious anger.
“Mariah, I’m so sorry,” he said, hugging her to him.
“Why on earth are you apologizing?” She leaned back and placed her palms on either side of his face, forced him to look at her. “What we just shared was beautiful.”
He shook his head as he lifted her to sit on the bed beside him. “I was so desperate for you, I forgot to use a condom.”
As the realization of what he was saying sank in, she automatically covered her lower stomach with her hand in a protective gesture. “I doubt... I mean, the odds are that I won’t become pregnant,” she said, trying to come to terms with the fact that she wasn’t all that upset by the possibility.
What was wrong with her? The last thing she needed was an unplanned pregnancy, and especially with a man who might not ever be able to commit himself completely to their relationship.
“I’ve never failed to remember to use protection before,” he said, rising to pace the length of the room.
“Jaron, it’s not the end of the world. I’d have to do some calculations, but I don’t think it’s the right time of the month for that to happen,” she said, trying to think if it was or not.
When he turned to make another trip across the room, she caught sight of the ugly scars marring his back for the first time. Her breath lodged in her lungs at how many of the ugly ridges crisscrossed his otherwise flawless skin.
Although she’d felt them and caught a fleeting glimpse of them a couple of times when they made love, Jaron had been careful not to let her see the extent of the damage he’d suffered. For the past week, he had already been dressed when she woke up in the mornings and she instinctively knew he’d planned it that way. But he was so angry with himself for forgetting to use protection, he had dropped his guard, and in doing so, she’d finally seen the marks he’d been trying so hard to keep hidden.
Her eyes filled with tears and, getting up from the bed, she walked over to lightly place her hand on his back. She felt him go perfectly still before he started to jerk away from her.
“Don’t, Jaron,” she said, catching hold of his arm to stop him.
When he turned to face her, she wrapped her arms around him and held him to her as tears streamed down her cheeks. Groaning, he pulled her closer and they simply held each other for several long minutes.
“I give you my word that I’ll stand by you if you do become pregnant,” he finally said, breaking the silence.
He didn’t want to discuss his scars and how he got them and that was fine with her. At the moment, she couldn’t think of a thing to say that wouldn’t sound as though she pitied him. That was something she knew for certain that he wouldn’t want to hear.
Instead, she concentrated on what he’d said about a possible pregnancy. “It never crossed my mind that you wouldn’t be there for me,” she said, shaking her head.
“I guess we’d better get some sleep.” He released her to pick up their clothes. “I have to be up at dawn to take my shift in the calving barn.”
Half an hour later as she lay in Jaron’s arms, Mariah couldn’t seem to turn off her thoughts. She hated to think of what he must have gone through as a child—how much emotional and physical pain he had endured. And as bad as the marks on his body were, they were nothing compared to the scars he carried that weren’t visible. As long as she had a breath left in her body, she would fight like a wildcat to keep someone from doing anything like that to her child.
Her heart skipped a beat at the thought that she might become pregnant with Jaron’s baby. She’d told him that it was unlikely. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized that wasn’t the case at all. She was right in the middle of her cycle, and therefore it was her most fertile time of the month.