“I really am sorry about the way I left,” he said. “It was a cowardly thing to do.”
“I’d have thought your Marine code would have a rule about that.”
“Not a rule exactly,” he said wryly.
She didn’t want to flirt with him and talk about the Corps. That easy charm was part of what had attracted her to him in the first place, but she knew now that there was nothing easy about Jay Michener.
“Why did you do it?” she asked. She couldn’t figure out why he’d asked her to marry him. She’d accepted because it had fitted into her plans. She’d just finished cooking school and the next thing on her to-do list was to start a family. She’d always wanted one and when she’d met Jay in Vegas it had seemed as if fate had stepped in.
“I don’t know,” he said.
“Honestly? You must have some clue,” she said. She wasn’t going to let him get away with lying to her. Not now. He’d broken her heart. That wasn’t right.
“No. That’s not true. I left because you tempted me to stay,” he said. “And I had a job to do. And in the end the job won.”
Brutal.
But what else had she expected? That was another little nugget for her to tuck away and make sure she never let this man’s charm win her over again.
“Why am I here now? Are you on leave again and thought we could hook up?” she asked.
“Yes, I’m on leave, and as you pointed out I owe you some explanations.”
She leaned back in her chair and took in the scene. The table had been set up with a pretty white damask tablecloth. With the setting sun and private beach, he’d gotten the romance of this moment perfect. But she no longer believed that Jay was the right man for this kind of special moment.
“I’m not sure I’m following you—you came back to explain?”
“No. I came back to see if you would listen to me. Maybe give me a second chance.”
“At what?”
He arched one eyebrow at her. “At us.”
She shook her head. “You want to get married again?”
He shrugged. And her heart fell. He wasn’t here for her. He was here to bring closure to his past. And if she was honest with herself, she’d already let Jay use her enough for this lifetime.
“No thanks.”
She honestly believed that Jay was a warrior. A man more at home with his unit on a mission. Having been a soldier his entire adult life he had no idea how to share himself with others.
“I asked around, you’re still single.”
“I own my own business, which takes up a lot of my time,” she said, not sure how she felt about him asking about her.
“Granted.”
“What do you want me to say, Jay?”
“That you’ll give us a second chance.”
“But you’re making no promises? I’m not an idiot,” she said.
“I know that. Neither am I. And I’ll tell you this, I’ve never been able to forget you, Aly. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about you. I know I hurt you and don’t really deserve a second chance, but I’m asking you to give me one.”
He was sincere; she could read that easily enough in his eyes. But she didn’t want to trust him again. For some reason she’d fallen for him—the quiet loner with the easy charm instead of the outgoing athletic guys she usually hung out with.
“I’m sorry. But I don’t think I should be here. You enjoy the dessert and have a great life, Jay.”
She grabbed her purse and started to walk away and he followed her again, this time when he grabbed her arm he wouldn’t let her shake him off.
“No, don’t leave. I’m sorry. I’m not handling this right, but I don’t know what else to do. I need to figure out things that have nothing to do with the Corps.”
“I don’t see how that affects me,” she said. She tried not to let it bother her that he thought about her.
“I guess I want you to give me a second chance, not to leave you again but to love you.”
“I don’t think I can do that, Jay,” she said. “You broke my heart and didn’t have the guts to stay and tell me you were leaving.”
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am for that,” he said. “But I can show you that I’ve changed.”
“Have you?” she asked. Because so far she wasn’t seeing any big differences.
He started to nod, but then stopped. “I hope so. But I really don’t know. I’ve been on back-to-back deployments so I haven’t had a chance even to breathe since the last time I saw you.”