She pulled her hand from his grasp and put it in her lap. She wasn’t ready to rekindle the sexual flame that had always been between them. Not at this instant. But to reclaim herself she knew that she was going to have to. And she was afraid that when she did she’d lose a little bit more of herself.
3
JAY LEANED BACK in his chair, lacing his fingers over his chest. Granted, she couldn’t see his eyes in the growing darkness, but still she felt the weight of his gaze on her. He looked aloof and dangerous and though she knew he wouldn’t hurt her she felt that he wanted to keep the world at bay.
“So...how did you start a bakery?” he asked.
“With a lot of loans from the bank,” she replied with a wry grin. Her parents had offered to help by cosigning but she’d refused. After the debacle of her “marriage” to Jay she’d needed to do something on her own.
“Was it hard?” he asked.
“You have no idea,” she said.
“That’s why I’m asking,” he said. “The woman I married was looking for a family and wanted to settle down.”
“Well, that didn’t work out, did it?” she asked.
She was starting to feel annoyed. She had enjoyed Jay’s company, but a part of her hadn’t wanted to. She wanted Jay to have turned into some kind of jerk so she could stand up and walk away. Instead he’d been nice and kept the conversation going when all she wanted was...well, some awkward silences.
“No, it didn’t. So tell me, what happened? I want to know what I missed,” he said.
She tried studying him. The new him. But memories of the old him were bonded deep within her. She felt vulnerable and unsure. She pulled her sunglasses off the top of her head and put them on.
“I started doing bakery competitions in the area and winning some of them. Then I was invited to be a part of Good Morning Los Angeles’s cooking segment and gained some notoriety that way. But there was another cupcake girl, Staci, and we kept bumping into each other. And one thing led to another until one night, after a few too many margaritas, I found myself agreeing to be her partner and open a bakery with her.”
He just continued watching her and she fiddled with her fork. She didn’t like his attention on her because she didn’t want to feel even a bit of attraction for him. But it was crazy to try to deny it. She did want him.
There was something exciting about him—there always had been. He exuded male confidence, and he had from the moment he’d walked up to her at the roulette table and teasingly asked her for a kiss. She’d given it to him and he’d placed all his money on the table and won. He’d called her his lucky charm and spent the rest of that night and the next four days wining and dining her. He’d made her feel as if she was the most beautiful and exciting woman in the world.
And she’d heard the saying “older and wiser” but somehow, where he was concerned, she wasn’t any wiser. She wanted to walk over to him, turn him away from the table and straddle his lap while she kissed him long and deep.
“Margaritas, eh?” he asked.
“I’ve got to lay off the margaritas,” she said, trying to sound wry but knowing she just sounded a little pathetic. It was after a night of drinking one too many strawberry margaritas that she’d agreed to marry Jay.
“I don’t know about that. Sweet Dreams seems to have paid off,” he said. “And everyone’s heard of your bakery. Although it wasn’t what I’d expected.”
“What did you expect?” she asked.
He shrugged and looked away from her. “I don’t know. I was kind of hoping you’d be waiting for me to come back.”
“You left me,” she said, not able to keep the incredulity out of her voice. “And I divorced you, remember?”
“I know. It was a fantasy,” he admitted. “I knew you wouldn’t be. You have a very strong sense of self. I think that is part of what made me leave. You had your own dreams. Your own desires.”
She nodded at him. She didn’t want to travel or be a military man’s wife. Her life had been rooted here in Southern California long before she’d opened Sweet Dreams.
“You surprised me, Alysse. You still do. I’m very proud of your success even though I know I have no right to be.”
She picked up her glass and took a dainty mouthful of wine. Trying for an attitude of sophistication she didn’t really feel at this moment. “If you hadn’t left me...I wouldn’t have the bakery. So I guess I owe you some thanks for that.”