She hugged him close. “Good. I’m glad.”
She pulled back as the rhythm of the music changed and they danced close together, bodies bumping and grinding until Jay thought he was going to explode. He enjoyed the teasing anticipation and could tell that Alysse did as well, because she kept brushing her hands intimately over him.
When it got close to midnight, they said goodbye to Lucien and India and walked hand in hand back to her car. He unlocked her door and then pulled her into his arms, kissing her slowly and seductively.
She held on to him as he tipped her head back and languidly moved his mouth over hers. It was intoxicating. He couldn’t get enough of her.
The honking horn of someone driving by pulled them apart; for the first time that he could remember, Jay hadn’t been aware of his surroundings.
“Take me home,” she said.
He nodded and opened her door for her and helped her get seated. By the time he walked around to the driver’s side she had her head tipped back against the seat rest and was staring at him with dreamy eyes.
“You okay?” he asked in his kindest voice.
“Yes. Everything felt right tonight, didn’t it?”
He reached over and took her hand, kissing it then putting it on his thigh before he started the car. “Everything was very good tonight.”
Her fingers stroked up and down his leg, teasingly dipping to brush against his cock, which was becoming more and more hard with each of her touches.
“India said that I can’t hide...”
“What are you hiding from?” he asked, realizing that the fun evening with relaxed company had loosened her tongue.
“You,” she admitted. “I don’t want to love you again.”
His heart stopped. He’d been hoping that she would love him again. That he’d be able to have that sweet attention from her and find somehow that he was worthy of it.
That was what he’d been searching for, he now understood. There was a reason why she didn’t want to love him and that was that he’d ruined that emotion for her a long time ago.
No amount of pretending could change his life or rectify the past. He had to face the fact that he needed to leave. That the only solution was to walk away from her.
He glanced over to find her sleepily watching him and he knew that he didn’t want to hurt her again. But a part of him was just selfish enough to want to stay. Why should he worry about Alysse and put her needs above his? He didn’t know why. He only knew that he did.
She twined their fingers together and leaned her head against his shoulder. They exited the vehicle and she led him to the front door of her cute bungalow. Her perfect normal life and he wasn’t strong enough to turn away.
12
ALYSSE DIDN’T WANT to let go of Jay. The night had come alive for her. She’d let her emotions run instead of bottling them up, and she felt almost high from them. God, why hadn’t she realized before how good this felt?
As soon as they were in her house she went to him. She’d missed him last night and she was finally able to really admit it. She’d been worried he was going to see her to the door and then leave again.
Having him inside with her made her bold. She knew he was nearing the deadline to decide what he was doing and where he was going and she wanted to make damned sure he knew she wanted him to stay.
“Dance with me here.”
“Um, are you sure?” he asked.
She could tell he wanted to retreat and go back to his safe hotel room, but she wasn’t going to let him. If Jay left her this time it wasn’t going to be without knowing every detail of what he would be missing for the rest of his life.
“Yes. I really liked the way you felt next to me,” she said, leading him into her living room. She hit the light switch and the two side-table lamps came on.
The room was cast in a soft intimate glow and Jay stood in the center. He looked sexy and serious as he waited for her. She smiled at him, a soft sensual expression that he answered.
She went to the iPod dock that she kept in her living room hooked up to speakers. She had always liked music and hadn’t scrimped on the sound system when she’d purchased it. Now she was glad because she wanted every detail of this night to be perfect. It was the only way she was going to be able to convince him to stay.
She flipped through her playlists and found what she was looking for. The song she wanted to dance with him to had been playing in the lounge the first night they’d gone for a drink in Vegas. She only listened to it when she was feeling nostalgic and a bit melancholy, but she wanted that to change. She wanted to reclaim the song as she felt she’d reclaimed the man.