He nodded. He wasn’t ready to talk about any of his emotions with Cari or anyone else.
DJ wore a one-piece romper-type suit made of cotton and he smelled like baby powder. His little hands moved on Dec’s shoulder as he carried the baby so that they faced each other. Finally he just had to stop and look down at the boy who was muttering different little sounds.
He had a son.
Sure, he’d known that last night, but holding the boy in his arms today made it real. Until this moment he’d been able to think of the future and his own plans, but now he knew that he was going to have to consider this little boy and make sure he was safe and secure. Looking down into his face, he realized he wanted to be a better man.
He never thought or measured himself by anyone else’s standards. He’d learned early on that he couldn’t please others easily and settled for pleasing himself. Now, though, he wanted to make sure that in DJ’s eyes he was always a hero.
The little boy stared up at him and one of his hands came up to touch the side of Dec’s face, and he could only look down into that round sweet little face. His own son humbled him. Yet even as he was thinking about how DJ had his eyes, he saw Cari’s little nose and that DJ’s blond hair came from her, as well.
He glanced around and saw her standing a few feet away, taking a picture with her cell phone. She was giving him privacy to get to know his son and recording this moment for DJ, he guessed.
“Mamama…”
Dec turned to Cari.
“He sometimes means me, but usually he just mutters that a lot,” she explained.
“Oh, so what does he do?”
“Mostly what you’ve observed. He talks and chews on his hand. He does get fussy but I just fed him and changed him so he’d look good for you,” she said, coming over to them. “Wanted my little man to look his best when he met you for the first time. What do you think?”
He was humbled. “You did good, Cari.”
She laughed. “I had a lot of drugs to help with the birth.”
“Did you? I want to hear about that.”
“Now?”
He shook his head. “Let’s go get some breakfast and talk about what we’re going to do now. I’m not sure what you’re thinking but I would really like to be a part of his life.”
“Okay, let’s go talk,” she said. She wasn’t worried about her sisters seeing them since it was the middle of the morning on a workday.
He led the way to a coffee shop with outdoor seating and reluctantly gave DJ back to Cari to go order some coffee and muffins for them. He watched her through the glass and noticed that other men watched her, as well. She was very attractive, and even holding the baby wasn’t a detriment to other men seeing her and wanting her. Dec had to fight against his own jealousy for the first time ever.
He wanted to walk out there and claim both the mother and child as his own. That scared him because he wasn’t entirely sure he could have them both. Or what he’d do with them for the long haul. But he knew he had to find the answer to that soon.
* * *
Cari had seen a different side to Dec when he’d held DJ for the first time. She was trying hard to remember that right now he wanted everything to work out, but once life got back to normal he might not want anything long-term. He was thirty-five years old, enough to have settled down before this, but had never found a reason to. He was still a bachelor for a reason and she knew it was because he was, in his own words, a loner.
“Decaf latte,” he said, placing it in front of her before he sat down across from her at one of those tiny tables that all coffee shops seemed to specialize in. His long legs stretched out on either side of her own as he tried to get comfortable.
Nearly impossible for a man as big as Dec. He was almost six-four. She wondered if DJ would be as tall one day.
“Thank you,” she said.
“You’re welcome.” He took a sip of his drink, which looked like a double espresso.
“My thoughts are pretty straightforward on this,” he said. “I want to start dating you and get to know you. I’d like to also spend time with DJ but not necessarily always with you. I want him to get used to me.”
She narrowed her gaze on him. This was where she had to be sure and remember she was DJ’s mom. She couldn’t give in the way she sometimes did at work. “Do you know anything about kids?”
“No,” he said. “But I’m a quick learner.”
“What I’m thinking is that you can come to our house and spend some time with DJ. That way I’m close by in case something goes wrong. Would you be agreeable to that?”
“At first, but I want him to get used to being at my place,” Dec said.