“Good job!” the doctor says, taking the scissors back from Nick, who nods once and backs up out of the way. The nurse finishes cleaning off my still-crying baby, then she wraps him up in a blanket and places him on my chest. “Shh…it’s okay,” I coo. “Mommy has you.” I bring my hands up to hold him as his warm body rests against mine. “I love you, baby boy.” I place a kiss on his forehead.
“I’m going to get him checked out,” the nurse says, taking him from me far too soon. “As soon as you’re stitched up and moved to recovery, I’ll bring the baby to you.”
I watch as she takes my entire world away from me. “Is he okay?” I ask another nurse. “I wasn’t due for a few more weeks.”
“We’ll know more once the tests are run, but he seems perfect.” I close my eyes in relief as everybody bustles around me getting the room cleaned up. The doctor lets me know the placenta has passed, then he stitches up a cut he had to make so I didn’t tear. I’m lifted and transferred to a clean bed, given a fresh gown, and moved to a new room.
The entire time I feel Cole still lingering in the background, but I ignore him. I have nothing to say to that asshole. He might’ve been the best sex of my life, and I’ll never regret that night because it gave me the most precious miracle in the world, but still…fuck him.
Once I’m situated in my new room, my dad, Corrine, and Shelby come in and join Giselle and me. That’s when I notice Cole isn’t here anymore. Well good fucking riddance. “We saw the baby being brought to the nursery for tests. He’s beautiful,” Corrine gushes, and I smile.
“I took like a million pictures.” Giselle holds her phone out for me to take.
“Thank you!” I pull her in for a hug before I begin swiping through each photo.
“Is that Nick?” my dad asks when I stop on the one of him cutting the umbilical cord.
“Yeah, he snuck in and declared himself possibly the dad, and the doctor asked if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord.” I swipe to another photo.
“I can still remember when I got to do that with you.” My dad smiles at me. “One of the greatest moments of my life.”
“Yeah, well, I doubt Nick felt the same way.” Fresh tears surface, and I will them away. Damn hormones.
“Okay, here he is.” The nurse comes in, pushing my baby in a rolling bassinet. “His Apgar scores were perfect.” She hands me a piece of paper that shows the tests which were given, along with the scores. “His lungs are fully developed. It says in your birthing plan that you’re planning to bottle-feed. Here are a couple different kinds.” She pulls the bottles out. “This one is good, but if he has reflux or a sensitive belly, try this one.” She points to the different formulas.
“Thank you.” She picks him up and brings him to me. I shake the bottle gently like I read in the baby books and bring the nipple to his mouth. He starts sucking and drinking immediately. Giselle comes over and snaps another picture. A few minutes later, there’s a knock on the door and the nurse opens it. Nick walks in and glances around the room.
“Now’s not the time,” my dad says.
“Dad, it’s fine.” I lean over and give my baby boy a soft kiss on his forehead before I pick him up to burp him. “Can you guys give us a few minutes, please?” It’s best to get this over with. Reluctantly, everyone leaves.
“Sorry for barging in earlier. I was waiting outside your door, but when I heard you scream, I thought something was wrong.”
“It’s called giving birth,” I say dryly. “Why are you even here?”
“I’m not really sure.”
“Look, if you don’t want to be a dad, you don’t have to be.”
“And what is it you want?” He stands at the end of my bed, his arms crossed over his chest. His question comes out cold and distant. He’s nothing like the man I spent the night with all those months ago. Or maybe I just convinced myself it was more than what it really was.
“It doesn’t matter to me…” I start to say, but he shakes his head.
“No, I mean what do you want in order for me to sign over my rights? How much? You’re right, I don’t want to be a dad.” My heart breaks when he says this. My mind going back to my fantasy—the one where I have a baby with a man who loves me. We would get married, buy a house with a backyard like the one I grew up in, and we would start a family together. I didn’t realize it until right now, but when I watched him step forward and cut that umbilical cord, something in me felt a sense of hope that maybe he wanted this too.