Reed wakes up shortly after our conversation ends, and Nick spends the rest of the afternoon with Reed and me. While he’s awake, Nick does everything for him, from changing his diaper to feeding him. He’s become ten times as confident at being a dad than he was the first time he showed up on my doorstep with our son crying. It’s only a matter of time until he starts taking him for the night, and I’ve come to accept it.
What I didn’t expect was for Nick to show up here today and ask for me to give us a chance. Most women in my position would jump at the chance to date Nicholas Shaw, especially given the fact that we have a baby together. But I’m not most women. Call me crazy but I’m looking for the forever, and I’m not sure Nick can give me that. I know the man can give me the for-now. He gave that to me over and over again the night we spent together.
But I want more. I want what my parents had. I want what my dad was able to find for a second time with Corrine. Nick joked about giving me the fairytale, but does he really understand all that it entails? And then there’s the fact that if we don’t work out, we’re stuck co-parenting together. He and Celeste might be over, and their relationship might not have been real, but if we don’t work out there will be more women. Do I really want to put myself in that position? When I was in his arms, it felt so right, but once our connection was broken, my mind started to race. I wish I could be back in his arms, thinking with my heart instead of my head.
Nick leaves after giving Reed a bath and a bottle and putting him down for the night, but not before reminding me that he leaves tomorrow morning for Denver. Grabbing a glass of wine, I sit on the couch to unwind, and shortly after Giselle comes home from work.
“How was your day?”
“Amazing!” she gushes. “I am literally living out my dream. I had a meeting with Lydia, my boss, and she loves my ideas. She mentioned that she can see me one day moving into a real position there.” She pours herself a glass of wine and joins me. “Of course, that won’t be for a while. Most internships at Fresh Designs are for at least a year.”
“I’m so happy for you. The year will fly by, you’ll learn a lot, and soon enough you’ll be running the place.”
Giselle laughs. “I don’t know about that, but at least once I get through the internship I’ll be able to finally pull my weight around here.”
“Stop!” I hate when she brings up money. Money simply pays the bills. Giselle being in my life is worth more than any dime she ever pays toward the bills. Her friendship is invaluable.
“Whatever. So, how was your day?”
“Nick and Celeste broke up,” I say nonchalantly.
Giselle gives me a duh! look. “Yeah…like weeks ago.”
“And you didn’t think to tell me?” I give her the side-eye as I take another sip of my wine.
“Everybody knows. It’s all over the tabloids. I just assumed you knew.” She shrugs.
“You came home at four in the morning to tell me Victor cheated on me when we were together, but you didn’t think to mention Nick is no longer engaged?”
Giselle laughs. “I came home to comfort you because you were at one time in love with Victor. I didn’t think I needed to comfort you regarding Nick. Why would you even care…” She stops speaking and tilts her head to the side, giving me a curious look. “Livi, why would you care?”
I let out a loud sigh. “He wants me to give us a chance.” I throw back the rest of my wine like it’s a shot.
“No way! And you said yes, right?” I avert my eyes to the picture hanging on the wall. “Livi, you said yes…”
“I said I would think about it. He wants Reed and me to go to Denver with him for the Super Bowl, but there’s a lot to consider. If we don’t work out, we can’t simply go our separate ways. We’re Reed’s parents until we die. And then there’s the fact he might get bored of me or meet someone else. Or he might get bored of being a dad…”
Giselle sighs and sets her glass down. “You know what I don’t get…you talk all this shit about wanting your fairytale happily-ever-after, but you never let anyone in enough to actually allow it to happen. Did you see Cinderella come up with excuses? No! She wore that glass slipper like a fuckin’ boss.” I can’t help but giggle at her words.