“Oh, Nick. Is that why you didn’t want to have kids? Why you didn’t think you would make a good dad?” My palm rests on his cheek as my heart breaks for this man. It’s easy to forget that not everyone was raised in a loving home the way I was. I know Giselle’s parents have issues, but she never wants to discuss them no matter how much I beg.
“I had failed my parents and team by getting injured. I failed Fiona by putting my parents and football above her.” He turns his face slightly and gives the inside of my palm a kiss. “I think I was afraid of failing Reed, of failing you.”
We lay here for a few minutes in silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts, when Nick says, “You know…that year after Fiona dumped me I was with a lot of women.”
I groan, not wanting to know about his previous conquests. “Do you have to remind me?”
“Let me finish,” he says. “I was with a lot of women, but it wasn’t until that night with you that I even considered putting myself out there to try again. I knew the moment you told me you could buy your own drink you were different.”
I roll my eyes, remembering that night. “You still ended up getting your way and paying.”
“That I did.” He grins. “Best fifty bucks I’ve ever spent.”
“I still can’t believe I actually had sex with a guy I didn’t know. I wasn’t lying that night when I told you I’d never done that before.”
“You were so fucking sexy.” He gives me a soft kiss to my neck. “It was obvious from the get-go that hooking up with a strange guy wasn’t your norm. I could see it in your eyes how nervous you were, but then when we got to your room, the way you let loose and opened up to me…fuck…I knew one night with you wouldn’t be enough.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I question. We talked for hours that night and he never once mentioned wanting to see me again.
“I didn’t know you were going to disappear the next morning. If I would’ve known I was going to wake up to an empty bed and a note, I would’ve tied your wrists to the headboard so you couldn’t leave.” He winks playfully. “I’m just glad you went to my game and spotted me.” He kisses the tops of my knuckles. “Had you not been at that game who knows if we ever would’ve found each other.” The thought of never seeing Nick again makes my heart hurt.
“Is that why your parents and you are on the outs? Because of me?”
“I don’t think it’s any one thing,” Nick says. “Ever since you showed back up and Reed was born, I’ve started to see things differently, more clearly.”
“How?”
“All of the shit my parents have pulled over the years, they’ve always acted like it was done out of love and in my best interest. Now, though, I’m beginning to think their motives are less out of love and more out of greed. Pushing people I care about away, bribing them with money to leave, forcing me to change my major…those aren’t things parents do when they love their children. I will never be that kind of parent to Reed.”
“I think it says something about you as a person and especially as a father that you recognize that. Have they asked to meet Reed?”
“No, and that’s why I was upset when you walked in. My mom implied I should show up alone, knowing you and Reed are here with me.”
“I’m sorry.” I scoot closer to him to give him a kiss. “I would say we don’t need to go, but I’m thinking that’s not exactly the point here.”
“No, it’s not. I wouldn’t ask you to bring Reed. He’s too young, and we’re not showing him to the public yet. But they’re acting like he doesn’t exist. Other than them worrying about you distracting me from football or trying to take all my money, they haven’t acknowledged Reed being my son at all.”
“Well, maybe they will come around once they see I’m not going to steal all your money, and the only time I will distract you is in the bedroom.” I waggle my eyebrows playfully, and Nick smiles. “Now tell me about this English Lit degree. I had no idea you liked to read.”
“I do,” he admits, “but lately I’ve been thinking about trying my hand at writing.”
“Like taking a writing class?” I sit up, shocked.
“Yeah, I mean I know it’s too late to get my degree, but—”
“Wait! Who says it’s too late? You only had a year to go… you could easily go back and finish. And now with online classes, you could switch to English Literature like you wanted.”