Let Me Stay

“We’ll do something awesome; I promise. I am sorry I missed it, but I had a good reason.”

“Don’t worry about it. You’re here now. This is your apartment?” she asks.

“No, my man’s,” I say. ‘Boyfriend’ sounds so juvenile. Bella’s eyes widen.

“Your man?”

“Oh yeah. I have so much to tell you,” I say, grabbing my purse and linking my arm through hers. I lock the door using the key Brendan gave me. “You want me to drive?” I ask after we walk the short distance down Madison Avenue to where she had to park.

“Yes. That would be good,” she replies, tossing me the keys.

Her BMW is just like mine, right down to the color. My dad bought us matching cars when I turned twenty and her sixteen. I get in and start the car. Pulling out into traffic, I head toward my shitty little apartment in Atlantic City.

“So, what have you been up to? Are there any boys at school?” I ask. Because of where her birthday falls, she is still in high school.

“No, definitely not,” she says, laughing. “There is a man, though. He’s older and perfect, but I don’t think he knows that I am alive.” She is rambling. She only does that when she is overly excited.

“Who is it? Do I know him?”

“You might. Alonzo Fratelli,” she says, blushing.

“Alonzo Fratelli?” I question, thinking about the man who is probably no older than thirty-five, but he has got a bit of a reputation as a sicario, or a hitman of epic proportions. Rumor has it that he does not do relationships so as not to fuck up his killing concentration. He works for my uncle on a contracted basis. You might be wondering why I know so much about a business I am not active in, and the answer is simple. There are no secrets in the Vitali family. Secrets get you killed.

Before I left, I would get a daily briefing of what went down the day before. Some might say that makes me an accomplice, and they’re probably right, but it also makes sense. If one of my cousins had to kill a rival last night, it would not be suitable for me to continue to hang out with the sister of the dead guy today. It is just smart business. Keeps me safe. It keeps us all safe. It also has given me a “ride or die” mentality that I am pretty proud of. It is also why I feel like complete shit for not telling Brendan about it. Since I was a small child, it has been drilled into my head that secrets get you killed. They don’t help anyone. We were told from an early age what the family does. Not the specifics, but enough to know what was going on. Telling an outsider never crossed my mind. I still got to be a kid and have a pretty normal childhood, but it was enhanced with a crime element—no big deal. We did the obligatory theme park trips, and vacations to Miami and Key West. For the last fifteen years, we’ve toured one National Park a year. Only forty-three left to go. We camped, saw plays. Everything you can think of, we did it.

“Yep. Alonzo. I cannot stop thinking about him. He’s been at the compound every day for the last year. He’s always there whenever I turn around. He touches my arm, and I lose my mind. My arm! I can’t help imagining what it would be like when he touches anything else. Seriously, Brynn, I have lost my mind. If he does not start noticing me soon, I am afraid I will do something drastic.”

“Like what?” I ask, about to laugh, but I do not want to hurt her feelings.

“The only thing that comes to mind is getting naked and parading around in front of him,” she says.

“Why don’t you just talk to him?”

“Oh, God. I could never do that,” Bella says, burying her head in her hands.

“You can walk around naked in front of him, but you can’t talk to the man?” I ask chuckling.

“Don’t laugh. It’s not funny,” she whines. “Every time I try to talk to him, I get tongue-tied and can’t do it.”

“Oh, Bella. It will all work out if it is meant to.”

“Like you and your guy?”

“Yeah. Brendan is not like any guy I have ever met, or maybe he is. It’s just different. Better. Amazing. I took one look at him, and I knew. The only problem is that I have not told him about the family.”

“And by family, I assume you mean the family business?”

“Of course. How do you even begin with something like that?”

“I don’t know. The one I want is a part of this life, so it is not something I have ever thought about,” she says.