Boyfriend for the Summer

Whatever. Of course he can do whatever he wants, the cocksucker. But I know he’ll never get over me. He never gets over me. Every time he walks away he comes crawling back like the pathetic worm that he is.

I didn’t know that it had happened multiple times. But wow. As furious as I am with the whole situation, that’s honestly not how I expected things to go. What do I say to that? I know Eric. I know him. And he knows me.

He’s not any of those things that she called him. Whatever happened between them had to be bad, if she’s still that pissed about it. I want to know, and yet I don’t want to know.

I’m curious, but I can’t take any more of him being ground into the dust by Leena’s words. I’m too sad for that. It’s already too hard.

I don’t respond to her message, and put the phone back on the nightstand, screen down so I can’t see the light. There’s the sound of vibrations on the wood as she keeps texting, but I ignore it. I turn away from it, and let myself cry until I fall into sleep.

22

Eric

Present

This day is shit. Last night was shit. Everything is shit.

It’s the hottest day of the year so far, and even with fans pointing at me it’s nearly unbearable. I’m answering emails in my cabin and enjoying the relative peace.

Some of the staff have gone into town for the weekly supply and mail run, and I’m glad it’s the weekend. Because I feel awful. I didn’t move for a long time after Seph left the waterfall, and I could barely sleep.

Seph is mine. The statement is still so true that I don’t doubt it. She’s mine and I am hers. It’s the only way any of this makes sense.

I refuse to believe that there’s a way that we can’t get past this. There has to be a way. I need to convince her that it’s always been her, because it has. Leena never made me feel the way Seph did. Does. And I was with her half the time out of obligation. The few times we hooked up over the past couple years were stupid mistakes that I made, desperate and sometimes drunk. I regret them.

But Seph is so convinced that it’s a barrier. How do you tell someone that the person who is their best friend in the world isn’t the person that they think that they are?

The fan next to me dies, and I look over. Did the plug fall out? No, it’s still plugged in. I look at my laptop, and the little battery charger symbol isn’t working. Shit.

Fuck. Shit.

Please don’t tell me that what just happened just happened.

I stride out onto the porch of my cabin, examining the dark clouds in the sky. The air is thick and humid—we’re probably going to have a thunderstorm this afternoon. But my stomach curls with dread when I already see a few counselors heading my way.

“Generator?” I call.

“Yeah.”

I sigh. This is the last thing that I need right now. “Do we know what the problem is?”

“Looks like it’s just the plug into the building. The generator itself is working, but the power isn’t going anywhere.”

Not good. The generator powers the entire camp. Including the kitchen. I need to get that fixed, but I’ll have to wait. Because the only vehicle that’s left at camp right now is the bus, and I haven’t had a chance to get a new tire. I can’t drive all the way to town on a donut. Not on the kind of roads there are around here. And I can’t call the staff to pick this up. It’s a different town which has the hardware store.

The universe really loves me today.

“I’ll try to get it fixed before dinner,” I say. “Do we have enough stuff for a cold lunch?” It’s about the time when lunch starts being served.

The counselor nods. “We’ll make it work.”

“Okay.”

Hands on my hips, I lean my head back to the sky. God, the last thing I want to do right now is this. I want to go back inside and sleep off the pain that’s underlying everything. The desperation to change how last night ended. Especially after the mind-blowing, perfect sex that told me I’m more in love with Seph than ever.

“My car is here,” A voice says from behind me. “I can drive you.”

I turn to find the very object of my thoughts standing there. And it is no consolation to me that she looks no better than I do. Dark circles and puffy eyes. Her night and morning have been just as bad as mine. I want to haul her against my body and make both of our pain go away. My instincts are screaming that the way to make this better is to touch her. Hold her. And I fucking can’t.