The High Price of Secrets

Tamsyn let her eyes drift closed, let her senses relax, her body sag into the chair. Outside she could hear the birds and the drone of the bumblebees that favored the flowering plants she’d revealed among the weeds. It wasn’t long before she’d drifted off to sleep.

She woke with a start about an hour later. Her phone was ringing. Where the heck had she left it? She staggered to where she’d left her handbag.

“Hello?” she answered groggily.

“Did I wake you?”

Finn’s voice filled her ear, warming her from the inside out.

“Caught me napping, guilty as charged,” she answered, trying to keep her voice light, especially considering the awkwardness that had developed between them the last time they spoke.

“I’m jealous.”

It sounded as if a faint smile played around his lips. Tamsyn hugged one arm around herself and leaned against the wall, imagining his face as he spoke.

“Don’t be, I’ve given myself a crick in the neck.”

“Maybe I can help you out with that later on,” he said smoothly. “I’m told I have good hands.”

A flush suffused her body. She just bet he did. Broad palms, long capable fingers. Her legs weakened just at the thought.

“I got your message,” he continued, “and yes, I’d love to come for dinner tonight. What can I bring?”

“How about a nice bottle of wine from that impressive collection of yours,” she suggested. “Something white. I’m doing chicken. Nothing fancy.”

It was one of the few things she could cook successfully. Growing up at The Masters they’d had staff for just about everything, something she’d learned to appreciate when she’d gone to university and had had to fend for herself in the kitchen of the small flat she’d shared.

“Anything I don’t have to cook and prepare myself sounds great. What time do you want me?”

Want him? Oh, about 24/7, to be totally honest. She gathered the raveled strands of her mind together and gave them a swift tug into submission.

“Sixish suit you?”

“Perfect. See you then.”

He ended the call, leaving her standing there like a lovesick teenager still holding the phone to her ear. The disconnect signal beeping in her ear galvanized her into action. It was four o’clock, and she still had so much to do. She swept into the kitchen and grabbed the two chicken breasts she’d put into the fridge last night to defrost. Still a bit on the icy side, she realized, and put their plate on the countertop to finish defrosting, covering them carefully so Lucy wouldn’t be tempted to check them out.

Okay, what was she going to do with the chicken? Stuff it? She mentally went over the range of ingredients she had at her disposal and decided on a carpetbag-style concoction that had been popular with her flatmates. She even had some frozen scallops in the freezer to stuff the chicken with. She put them on a separate plate to defrost, making a mental note to replace them the next time she shopped for groceries.

Boiled baby potatoes, seasoned with parsley butter, and asparagus spears would be a perfect accompaniment to the chicken. Moving swiftly, Tamsyn prepared a marinade for the meat, throwing the almost-defrosted breasts into a dish with lemon juice, tarragon, some finely chopped garlic, salt and ground black pepper and covering it again.

The baby potatoes were easy. She grabbed the box she’d bought at a grocery store on the way back from Nelson and rinsed a few under the kitchen faucet before popping them in a saucepan with water and a dash of salt and setting them on the stove to cook later. The asparagus she rinsed and snapped and put in a dish ready to steam in the microwave just before serving. She wished she’d paid more attention at home when the cook had prepared hollandaise sauce with their asparagus dishes, and contemplated looking up a recipe on the internet. In the end she decided against it. What if it didn’t work? She’d rather have a practice at it first before dishing it up to Finn, who had served her such a delicious dinner, himself. She badly wanted to impress him.

She sobered for a minute, the wild excitement of planning and preparing her meal deserting her. Insecurity trickled its icy fingers into the corners of her mind. What, in all honesty, was she trying to prove? Was she so desperate for male approval that she was prepared to put herself through hoops again already?

Tamsyn stepped away from the kitchen counter and walked out the back door, sinking onto the wooden steps that led down to the vegetable garden. She pulled her knees up under her chin, growling at herself under her breath. She needed to get a grip, to stop defining herself by the men in her life.

She’d invited Finn to dinner because she enjoyed his company and, frankly, enjoyed the way he made her feel. She wanted to know if that feeling could go further, that was all. And, whether it did or it didn’t, she would handle it like an adult.