‘Listen to me,’ he said fiercely. Then he breathed for a bit. ‘Please.’
She didn’t reply, but didn’t try to pull away either. What was he sorry for? What did he want to say to her?
She could hardly hear for the hope and the fear thundering in her ears.
It was another moment before he spoke again. Then it came out, slow, quiet. ‘You once asked if my mum and I had fallen out. We had—big time in a never-talk-about-it kind of way. It happened the day I came home from school early and found her at home with her lover. She was having an affair, right under my father’s nose, jeopardising our whole family.’ He spoke faster. ‘She knew I knew. But it didn’t end. And after a while I figured out it hadn’t been the only one. Nor was it the last.’ His bitterness was palpable as he paused. ‘I’ve never told anybody that, Liss. Not even him.’
Stunned, Liss looked up. As she looked at the torment in his eyes her heart ached for the boy he’d been— for his loss of innocence and the burden he must have felt.
‘I was so angry with him for not noticing. How could he not have known? And I was determined no woman would ever make a fool of me the way my mother had my dad.’
He grimaced. And Liss’s heart sank lower when she saw the self-mockery in his eyes. Oh, no. She lifted her hands, placing them on his chest, wanting to support him.
His gaze dropped, but he kept talking. ‘A couple of years ago I was in a serious relationship. Jenny was popular, a social butterfly, loved attention. What I didn’t know was that behind my back she was screwing around. She got lazy with the latest and pictures of them together were published in the gossip mags. The rest of the world knew before I did—and the media revelled in it.’
Liss flinched. Opened her mouth, but he started talking again, even faster, and she couldn’t interrupt, wanting to understand so badly.
‘I refused to be hurt like that again, or so humiliated. I decided I was never getting serious with a woman, I’
d just have the odd fling when the opportunity arose. And certainly I wasn’t going to get involved with another butterfly type.’
He looked at her then, stormy apology heavy in his eyes. ‘And then you waltzed in—so beautiful and so vivacious and so fun-loving.’ He shook his head. ‘I tried really hard not to like you, Liss. I told myself you were shallow and vain and wouldn’t know the meaning of loyalty even if it bit you. But every step along the way you were showing me different. And I couldn’t help but touch you and once I’d touched I couldn’t stop and then every time I did, I wanted to explore more. I wanted to understand you.’
He broke off for a moment and then changed tack. ‘And you attract all this bloody attention. Except for promoting my hotels, I hate the press thing, Liss.’ He sighed. ‘But you were sweet and generous and blindly searching for something and all I wanted to do was help you.’ He paused, his intensity mounting. ‘And have you. But when I thought you’d left me asleep in bed and gone clubbing? I felt like such a naïve fool. And I thought you’d done everything I feared the most. That moment was worse than anything—worse than Mum, worse than Jenny. And I lost it. I totally lost it.’
Inside the pain sharpened—pain for him, pain for herself, and she whispered, ‘Have I ever given you reason not to trust me?’ Tears filled her eyes so fast they burned.
He paled. ‘No. I know it was unfair of me. I’ve been unfair all along. I wanted out, Liss. It was going to be an affair on Aristo and then all over.’ He shook as he breathed in and his fingers dug tight into her arms again. ‘But I can’t.’ He pulled her closer and the strain cracked his voice. ‘I can’t let you go.’
The tears coursed down her face as she was submerged in hurt and longing. ‘I don’t want you to.’ Her voice broke even harsher as her need sobbed out. ‘I don’t want you to ever let me go.’
Agonised and angry, she looked up at him, and saw desperate painful need reflected. And then his mouth came down on hers, grinding her lips against her teeth, crushing her as if he couldn’t get close enough. His hands tightened even more, clamping her to him, and she struggled to get hers free—so she could throw her arms around his neck and cling on just as tight. She wanted to make it all better for him—for both of them.
She wanted to love him and for him to let her.
They strained together, fighting to get close, until he took charge, backing her up against the wall fast because she could barely stand. Swiftly he ran his hands hard down her body and then swept her dress up; she caught at the fabric, wanting it out of the way but there was no time and it fluttered around them. His fingers ran up her thighs and as he discovered she was totally naked beneath the gold fabric he muttered something unintelligible, his whole body jerking as he flung forward.