She splashed in the water, her sandals wet. Her father’s man was waiting around the next bay, ready to drive her wherever she wanted to go. She just had to decide where that was going to be.
To Eduardo? Or to anonymity on an island a thousand miles away from this one?
She knew where he’d gone. Her father had told her. And even though it was for a good cause it had made her angrier. She’d have gone with him if he’d asked her to. If he’d told her. But he hadn’t asked. And she hadn’t said anything either. She hadn’t told him so much. Neither of them had.
That was when it finally hit her. Everything that was wrong with her father was also wrong with her. She’d been so uncommunicative it was unfair.
She could create a good life for herself here. She could be brave. She could tell Eduardo she’d fallen for him and ask him to be gentle when he wanted out of their marriage. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t love her. He desired her. He respected her. Couldn’t that be enough to make this a success?
Not if she kept acting like a sulky, spoilt child.
She’d spent her life trying to please her father, instead of letting it go and just being herself. Pleasing herself. Her life could have been so much richer if she hadn’t tried to control herself and remained so intensely focused on that one goal. She’d been without friends and lonely for so long because she hadn’t let people in. She could have joked with some of her fellow soldiers about the General being her dad. Instead she’d isolated herself by trying to prove herself for so long.
Eduardo was lonely and isolated too. Mired in that conflict between duty and desire. As Giulia had said, they had much in common.
So maybe they could be more than husband and wife. Maybe they could be a team. They could achieve a whole bunch of stuff together.
Finally she admitted the truth to herself—the hurt and anger she felt wasn’t about the baby. It had never been about the baby. Her fears had been for herself. She’d been in lust with him from the start, but once she’d got to know him she’d fallen hard, and it hurt to know he didn’t feel the same. But she had to grow up—she was stronger than this. She had to go back.
She turned, walking ankle-deep into the water again to walk around the bay. But she’d taken only a few paces when she saw him splashing towards her. His jeans were half soaked, his hair a tousled mess, but he looked magnificent. Fiery, full of energy, he almost crackled as he moved. He strode towards her, his arms lifting as if he was about to pull her hard against him. Only he checked himself, lowering his hands and shoving them into his pockets. He opened his mouth, but then blew out a deep breath rather than saying anything.
‘Did he tell you where I was?’ she asked.
‘No. He didn’t let you down.’ He looked at her sodden sandals and the wet half of her skirt. ‘You’ve been swimming?’
She shook her head. ‘The rip is too strong, I wouldn’t want to get carried away.’
He nodded, his eyes hollowed and burning. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Why are you here?’ Her heart stalled while she waited for his answer.
‘I’m sorry you have to ask that.’ He splashed closer. ‘I’m so sorry, Stella.’
Her heart pounded, pushing hope in small pulses around her body. ‘My father told me where you went this afternoon. Your private schedule. The hospital. He said you call in there all the time. That you know some of the kids really well.’ Her voice faded.
‘Don’t go thinking I’m any kind of hero,’ he said. ‘I only do it because it makes me feel good.’
‘Because you like them fawning over you? It’s some ego trip?’
He pressed his lips together again. She knew he wasn’t going to defend himself against the stupid suggestion. And that was so typical of him.
‘I know it’s not that,’ she said softly. ‘I think it’s because you like to see them smile.’
He liked to see lots of people smile. He was kind that way.
‘It’s nothing, Stella,’ he muttered.
‘It’s not nothing.’ She hated it that he belittled what he did. That he didn’t believe in himself. What he did mattered to so many.
For a second he looked so vulnerable it broke her heart all over again.
‘You mostly spend time with the young adults. The ones like Alessia,’ she added. ‘That can’t be easy for you.’
‘It’s—’
‘Don’t say it’s nothing again, or I’ll have to hurt you.’